I can't work out if his new song "Bend My Dick to My Ass" is a parody or not.
Above is a music video that Bam Margera just released. In it, he raps about fucking himself in his own ass for a few minutes, before pissing in his own mouth.
Obviously, it's terrible. I was just getting ready to send it to everyone I know so we could all LOL together, but somebody just pointed out to me that it might be satire, rather than Bam actually attempting to make something that people might find funny. And now I'm in two minds.
Reasons Why It Might Be Satire:
– It features every pop music video cliche of the last few years: flares, babes in a pool, babes in the back of a car, babes in a desert, standing on a car in the desert, a stupid dubstep breakdown, rave synths that sound like Velcro, etc. And this is Bam remember, he loves really alt shit like skateboarding and HIM, so I bet he really, really hates pop music. I bet he uses words like "fake" and "posers" when describing it :(
– He is wearing headphones to help him with the lip-synching. This suggests it was turned around very, very quickly.
– Alright, so it's a piece of shit that's not gonna be reworked for the IMAX any time soon, but multiple people clearly worked on this video. If he were genuinely attempting to be funny, somebody would have stepped in and stopped him. It would have been cruel not to.
– He pisses in his own mouth in the video. This is a comment on how modern pop music is repulsively self-celebrating and recycles the same shit (or piss) over and over again, just like that Pitchfork review of Jet.
– Ditto the above, but replace "pisses in his own mouth" with "bends dick to his own ass".
– The "chorus" is: "I wanna bend my dick to my ass so I can fuck myself". The implications of a person saying this and genuinely thinking it's funny are too depressingly wide-reaching to even begin thinking about.
Reasons Why It's Probably Not Satire:
– It's Bam Margera.
– He literally pisses in his own mouth in the video.
– It's Bam Margera.
Fuck the internet. When did laughing at stuff get so complicated? Remember the days when you could just mock something without having to worry about whether or not you were being trolled, or it was a piece of viral marketing? I miss those days. From now on I'm only watching old episodes of You've Been Framed when I want to laugh.
Can someone with more time than me please work out if this is for real or not and lemme know in the comments? I don't want to spend another second thinking about it. Also, I just found out that Steve-O now does a show where people have to sing karaoke while doing Fear Factor type challenges. So I'm gonna be spending the rest of my day watching videos of small women singing country songs while they cry because they are being dunked into pools full of snakes.
More from Glen Coco: