Love Island, obviously, is the highlight of the UK TV programming calendar, and if you disagree you are probably a Tory who calls it "crass" as if that's a bad thing. For the unfamiliar, Love Island is a reality show where impossibly good-looking people are thrown together and are essentially made to competitively date each other. It is comparable to Big Brother, but with more tits, and it is based in a villa in Mallorca, Spain.
This year, one of the Love Islandcontestants is Marcel Somerville, who used to be in the boyband-cum-rap crew Blazin' Squad. I feel like as the series has progressed, it has become quite clear that Marcel harbours ambitions to be restored to his former glory as a pro-musician (here he is freestyling a few weeks ago), so it makes perfect sense that he'd mastermind a "song" in the villa that will almost definitely end up getting recorded, and will almost definitely be played in clubs called things like Suede and Coco's for the next year.
Marcel, however, is not used to going out alone. As a member of Blazin' Squad he was surrounded by nine other members, so he teamed up with two of the other islanders: Kem, a hyperactive barber from Romford (ROMFORD!) (real heads know) who announced early on in the series that he's "got bars," and Chris, the human equivalent of a golden retriever puppy – once, when asked what his favourite animal is, he answered solely with the word "cow" without missing a breath – who loves to rap more than I have ever loved anything in my entire life.
What ensued is a "track" called "Little Bit Leave It" because Kem says "that's a bit leave it" a lot or something. Chris, as the group's weakest but most enthusiastic link, was not technically allowed to join in, but made an admirable hypeman. Anyway, here is is for your viewing pleasure/endless full body cringe:
Against all my better judgement I find all of this extremely cute for some unknown reason (probably because of Chris saying "shout out my family" at the end) – mostly because they're as sincere as some Year 10s doing a school talent show. But I also am moved to ask – is "Little Bit Leave It" actually good? Having only watched this video a few (ten) times, it is now very stuck in my head, and it seems like exactly the sort of thing that will get eaten up by the Love Islandaudience once the boys are out of the villa. Which leads me to ask: have we just witnessed the birth of a the newest mainstream rap stars in the UK? Will this moment be reflected on by music historians?
I mean, probably not, but all three of the lads will be dining out on the nightclub public appearances in Essex for a good few years, and friends, isn't that the true measure of success?
Follow Lauren on Twitter.
(Image via YouTube)