He'd probably take a photo of you and cut it right out of there.
Jared Buschang is a photographer who lives in New York who seems to have some kind of issue with human faces. In most of his work, he replaces people's faces with something far less complicated, like a globe or a couple of strips of bacon. The result is eerie and heartwarming at the same time, like this puppy with (ironically) two faces or Edward Scissorhands before we all realised that Johnny Depp was the lamest guy on Earth.
Jared also makes lovely drawings and paintings, so you might like to take a look here.