Photos via Gumtree
What is living in London like? Hell. Here’s proof, beyond all doubt, that renting in London is a nightmare.
Where is it? Somewhere between Brockley and Lewisham, where the upper zone of middle class fancy south London gives way to the grey zone of impossible-to-figure-out-on-a-map south London. I'll admit this might just be particular to me, and my brain, and this may not be as universal and relatable a feeling as I have led myself to believe. But something short circuits when I get anywhere beyond Blackheath, and I just can't tell up from down, right from left, north from south. South London runs a magnet over my body and inverts my entire sense of direction. It is a cursed little place. It makes me want to vomit through my nose.
What is there to do locally? Find me, raving and insane, up to my thighs in long grass, striding across Hither Green, probably. Other than that, I don’t know what there is to do that far down in south London, because normally once I’ve got there I require a three-car police escort to get me back. Inferno's? I don't know. Get stuck to the floor in Inferno's? I really don’t know
Alright, how much are they asking? £720 p.c.m.. And before you say, "Ah, that rent sounds… well, not reasonable, exactly, but close enough to what I pay to not feel obscene," wait until you see it! Wait until you see it. WUYSI. Wait until you—
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