The Hangover News

Brexit Goes Big
BORIS JOHNSON COMPARED THE EU TO HITLER
He likened the union to the Nazi "superstate", on his pro-Brexit campaign trail

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At first, you may not think that a union of countries designed to increase integration and lessen the likelihood of conflict were like Hitler. But you're probably not Boris Johnson.

In a Sunday Telegraph interview, the former London mayor said that past attempts to unify the EU under one "superstate" government had only led to problems.

"Napoleon, Hitler, various people tried this out, and it ends tragically," he said. "The EU is an attempt to do this by different methods."

It seems BoJo missed last month's memo, left in screaming all-caps, by Ken Livingstone: don't bring up Hitler unless someone asks you directly about Hitler. That's the rule.

Homeward Bound

FAILED DRUG MULE MELISSA REID IS TO BE RETURNED TO SCOTLAND

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After just over two years in prison on drug smuggling charges, Peruvian authorities said Friday that 22-year-old Melissa Reid is to be released to serve the rest of her six-year sentence in Scotland.

You may remember Melissa from 2013, when she and her friend Michaella McCollum were caught trying to smuggle £1.5 million worth of cocaine from Peru to Spain and arrested at the airport.

Both women struck confidential plea bargains, lowering their prison terms from the 15-year maximum, and McCollum was released earlier this year.

"It's horrendous to see your daughter in handcuffs and the living conditions that she has to put up with," said Melissa's dad, Billy. "There'll be no celebrations in our house, there'll be no Christmas tree until we get her back home."

Eurovisions of War
A SONG ABOUT WAR CRIMES WON EUROVISION
Ukraine's entry focused on Stalin and Crimea, winning the public vote

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Ukraine won this year's Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday night with "1944", a song about Stalin ordering the deportation of Crimean Tatars from Ukraine during the Second World War.

"When strangers are coming, they come to your house / they kill you all inside [and say] 'We're not guilty, not guilty'" were the song's opening lyrics, which Ukraine's contestant Jamala had likened in previous interviews to the 2014 Russian annexation of Crimea.

Jamala, herself an ethnic Tatar, bumped jury favourite Australia to second place after pulling in a massive amount of votes from the public.

A Russian parliament committee head labeled Jamala' song choice "political meddling" while the president of Ukraine tweeted his congratulations to Jamala on the night.

The Smoking Gun
A MAN STOLE CIGARETTES OFF A MOVING LORRY IN SCOTLAND
Police are currently looking for the culprit, and accepting tip-offs

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Police are on the hunt for a man who hopped onto a moving lorry and filled bin bags with unopened cigarette boxes last Wednesday morning.

News of the huge tobacco theft broke on Friday, with police asking anyone from the area who's recently been sold cigarettes by a man – and not bought them from a shop – to come forward.

The thief was reportedly wearing a high-vis vest when he hopped on the red lorry in South Lanarkshire, before he opened the doors and helped himself to a massive amount of cigarettes.