Dear Vice readers, I am on paid paternity leave, helping my son milk my wife's breasts. To ease you into the awesomeness that is my drawering for an Etnies ad in next month's 15th anniversary issue of Vice, I present to you my world-famous, half-Mexican/half-German time-travelling detective, Senor Schnitzel, as seen on my Canadian friend's website, King Shit.CHRIS NIERATKO