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Westminster Insiders Reveal Their Worst Coronavirus Fears

"I think everyone's just wondering, working in that Petri dish, when it's going to be us or if we've got it already."
Westminster insiders coronavirus
Photo: Chris Bethell
Commons Confessions is a column by political journalist and author Marie Le Conte. Keep reading for more anonymous insight into British politics from those in the know.

The situation surrounding COVID-19 is changing by the day, meaning some of the information in this article might be out of date. For our most recent coronavirus coverage, click here.

Welcome to this coronavirus special edition of Commons Confessions. You may have found it confusing to see all those pictures of MPs crammed onto the Commons green benches in the past week, when those same MPs have been telling everyone to avoid human contact.

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So what is life like in Parliament at the moment? How are people coping with everything, while trying to keep the country running? We spoke to some MPs, aides, parliamentary staff and political journalists to find out – all anonymously, of course, so they could be honest.

THE MPS

“The mood is absolutely horrible. I think everyone is exhausted; they're frightened, just like everyone else in the country.”

“Given the nature of the jobs that we do, there's a lot of people in our communities who are looking to us for answers and for guidance that we just can't give them at the moment, because there's so little clarity.”

“In Parliament itself, obviously things are really weird. Yesterday, I went out to get some lunch, came back to my office with a sandwich and an Irn-Bru in hand to find out that my office had been locked down, because one of my staff members is almost certain to have coronavirus. He'd been out for drinks with two people who are now confirmed to both have it but he's unable to get tested to confirm.”

“It's like everyone else, you know; the amount of MPs that we know have it but can't get the test to confirm. I think everyone's just wondering, working in that Petri dish, when it's going to be us or if we've got it already, frankly. I mean, I don't even know about going back to my constituency, because it's so much further ahead of the curve here in London, it's not something that I want to take back.”

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“It’s been very difficult to continue doing the job adequately. Parliament continued to have visitors in right up until this week; it didn’t feel as though we were taking it seriously. Westminster is one of the most affected places in the country – Parliament needs to start working out how we work differently by allowing us to function and scrutinise the government but without putting all the people who work there in danger.”

"I am one of those few non-London MPs who likes to work here sometimes during quiet periods and weekends and often visit my Westminster office during recess but this definitely feels different… The streets around Westminster are eerily quiet, high street staples like Itsu and Starbucks are usually bustling but now open but empty. The mood here is very 'rabbit caught in headlights' and everyone is just running on adrenaline to a certain extent."

THE JOURNALISTS

“Instead of being shackled to your desk, you’re shackled to a dining table [at home] being driven more and more insane as news editors scream for the latest line on a global pandemic. You grow to hate the BBC indent or Sky music with a fiery passion.”

“Westminster is as typically bizarre as you'd expect. The parliamentary estate has been getting quieter and quieter, markedly so when all visitors were banned earlier this week. There is a feeling here of being the merry survivors: those still working as normal life collapses. All the cafes are still going, serving the same old wraps and sandwiches even if there's no one around to eat them. Kind of assuming this will be the last formal week of Parliament being open as is.”

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“The general mood of MPs is keeping calm and carrying on. Most of the ones I've spoken to are aware their first aim is not to scare people – hence why so many Tories didn't raise their concerns with Number 10 about the initial coronavirus 'herd immunity' plan last week. But plenty I've spoken to are genuinely worried about the capacity of the British state and public services to cope with such a huge challenge. There is not a single parliamentarian who has seen anything like this in their lifetimes. Only a handful have wartime experience.”

PARLIAMENTARY STAFF

“Things feel pretty precarious in Westminster at the minute. On the one hand, Parliament has to stay open to pass all of the much-needed legislation that seeks to save businesses, lives and whatever else we want to have left when this is all over. On the other hand, Westminster is surely a hotspot for the virus – MPs and staff sitting on top of each other, most having recently travelled around the country, shaking hands – or more – with hundreds of people in pubs and receptions.”

“If there's one thing that makes this Armageddon worse, it's being unable to go to the fucking pub. It's only been a week but we're becoming so desperate that we're talking about doing 'Skype beers'. I promise, if I survive this madness, that I will never moan about [Westminster pub] the Two Chairmen ever again.”

“This week we've had an explosion of people writing in who need urgent responses, very worried old people, people stuck abroad, small businesses about to collapse. It's the same volume as correspondence we got over Brexit on busy weeks, but this directly affects people's lives right now so it's tough work to try to help when things change so fast.”

“It was all quite normal until the end of last week – just washing hands more then drying them on those old fashioned roller towel things so they get reinfected straight away! We were doing normal post Budget stuff last week, showing off spending in the constituency, arguing with local opposition activists about it. We had a lot of correspondence last week asking the government to do more to crack down, but we could confidently say we're following the best advice. That fell apart over the weekend.”

@youngvulgarian