Worst Opinion of the Week: 'I've Been Silenced By the Left, Despite Regularly Being On TV'

Story: Media personalities Darren Grimes and Andrew Neil say they've been victims of cancel culture.
Reasonable take: It's hard to argue that anyone who regularly appears on primetime TV and radio has been "cancelled", exactly.
Brain rot: No, I have! I've been cancelled!!

The discourse among our politicos this week has revolved mostly around "cancel culture", which is strange, since a large number of political commentators don't really seem to understand what "cancel culture" actually is.

Leading the charge was right-wing British political commentator and activist Darren Grimes, who said:

It seems some within our media are unable to grasp that not getting to do whatever you want, perform wherever you want and say whatever you want, unchallenged, is not the same thing as being subjected to "cancel culture".

The Bolshoi Ballet doesn't want me to lead their production of The Nutcracker, despite the fact I once perfected the Cha Cha Slide at youth club? It seems I have been cancelled!

Rihanna doesn't want to date me? Cancel culture strikes again!

Grimes' cries of being no-platformed seem to be in stark contrast to the blurb on his website, which states, "Darren Grimes has featured on many media outlets: including BBC News, Sky News, Channel 4 News, BBC Radio 1, BBC Radio 4’s Any Questions?, The Victoria Derbyshire Programme, BBC Radio 5 Live, TalkRadio, LBC, BBC Regional Radio and more."

I must say, I'm slightly envious of the levels of delusion that allow you to believe you're "cancelled" because Cumbria University won't invite you on campus to discuss, well, anything, because you lack the relevant credentials, all while appearing on every channel the TV guide has to offer.

Grimes' ranting continued:

You've got to hand it to those members of the right who think the boardrooms of British institutions are crammed with hard-lefties because businesses slap a rainbow above their logos during Pride or adhere to anti-discrimination employment laws, when the truth is you'd be hard pressed to find any major corporation that doesn't feature some former sitting MP, life peer or Tory donor in a high-ranking position.

Of course, I may well be wrong – and if I am, can some cunt please take me to this Britain that's "too afraid to hire a conservative"?

Personally, whenever I glance at any one of our hate-papers, or flick through any of our political TV shows, or simply sit down and breathe in oxygen in a country that has elected the Conservatives for the last 41-years – with our only respite being Tony "My Job Was to Build On Thatcher Policies" Blair – I am unequivocally convinced that Britain is a conservative paradise.

It wasn't long before BBC political presenter Andrew Neil joined in to show his solidarity with Grimes, by triumphantly retweeting one of Grimes' posts about "cancel culture", adding that Owen Jones has "tried – and failed – to cancel my BBC career several times".

Coincidentally, The Andrew Neil Show was cancelled just days later – but that was down to cuts at the BBC, not some tweets from a left-wing journalist.

Does cancel culture really exist? I'm not sure. But what I'm certain of is that being a victim of "cancel culture" – to certain right-wingers, at least – seems to entail perpetually spouting bigoted views on websites until you get kicked off them. So my advice to the "free speech warriors" is this: if you want to stop getting skid-marks in your boxers, please wash your arse. It is that simple.

I guess this whole mind-numbing debate is our fault for allowing terms that were once the sole preserve of the internet to form a part of the daily discourse. It feels like giving your nan control of the Apollo 11 controls and expecting her to know what the fuck is going on.

@MULLET_FAN_NEO