I Went Trick-Or-Treating, Aged 25, for My Dinner Party Shopping List

I needed Coronas, paper plates and potatoes – and I sure as hell wasn't going to pay for them.

Nov 1 2016, 2:36pm

It's Halloween night and I'm supposed to be hosting a party at my place, but the only thing in my cupboard is stale halloumi, margarine and a bit of old spring onion. I've got almost nothing in the bank and rent is due soon. It's going to be a disaster.

This, right now, is one of those moments where I can't hide the disappointment I have in my own existence. Millennial life is so fucking bleak and unfair - I wasn't prepared for this growing up. Childhood was a Recess-watching, Babybel-eating, Digimon-caring dawdle on easy street: the dream.

Living in the vicinity of East Dulwich; the epicentre of mums, milk bottles and playgrounds, I'm constantly reminded of it. These little bastards have the life. Every holiday