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In my early twenties, I would have 50 to 60 drinks on a weekend day—cutting down to about half of that in the middle of the week, to achieve some small level of functionality. At that point, it had become pretty clear that I was an alcoholic, and I was on a pretty rough Antabuse treatment—a drug that keeps you from drinking by adding some nasty side effects to alcohol intake. To compensate, I went all out with hash and pills. But if you really want to, it is possible to drink while taking Antabuse—and I really wanted to. Your head swells up, your heart starts pounding, you feel nauseous, you have trouble breathing, and you get red splotches and prickling sensations on your skin. But in the end, the alcohol subdues the nervous system to such a degree that you no longer feel the allergic reaction.Drinking was something I did because I felt like shit.
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