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Sex

People Who've Had Lots of Sex Talk About Having Lots of Sex

"I'm proud of my number. With experience comes knowledge."

by Ruth Faj
05 December 2017, 11:23am

There's been lots of talk this year about how millennials aren't having much sex. About how their attitudes to sex and relationships are more permissive than any previous generation, but that actual rates of one person rubbing their junk against another's have declined considerably over the last 30 years. Mind you, despite both this and the international reputation of Brits as stuffy, sex-negative squares, the average number of sexual partners per person is higher in the UK than anywhere else in Europe, at seven each over the course of a lifetime. So that's something.

Of course, there are plenty of anomalies who don't fit neatly within these statistics – people having much more sex than you and I, despite the fact they are a) millennials; and b) British. I spoke to some of them about sex positivity, monogamy and what you can learn about humans by having sex with a load of them.

Clyde Walton, Escort and Model

VICE: Tell me Clyde, how old you were when you lost your virginity?
Clyde Walton: I was 15 years old when I lost my virginity to my first ever boyfriend. He was 18.

How many people have you slept with roughly?
Too many to count, due to escorting. I really wouldn't know how many I've had sex with, but I've had sex with a lot.

Has sleeping with all these people taught you anything about humans as a whole?
It hasn't really taught me anything, it's just given me more experience in it and shown me all kinds of fetishes that people have. But no matter what, I'm always safe when having sex with other people – I always use protection.

Why do you love sex?
Because I love the intimacy you get with the other person, whether it's kinky sex or romantic or making love. There's nothing in the world that feels better than having sex with someone you find drop dead gorgeous. I love the connection and bond you get with each other when two bodies are close together, embracing one another.

If you were going to have a threesome with two celebrities, dead or alive, who would they be?
Easy. Zac Efron and Tom Welling.

Hannah Witton, Sex and Relationships Vlogger, and Author

Penetration or oral?
Hannah Witton: Oral.

What are your thoughts on open relationships?
I think they're a valid alternative to monogamy. I think they're just as healthy and loving as monogamous relationships. I think that they really do work for some people. And unfortunately, I think there's a lot of stigma around them.

Slut-shaming?
Bad, bad, bad. It's 2017 – let's please move on from judging people's sexual behaviour or the way they dress.

What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done during sex or heard someone do?
It's difficult to rank kinks, because everyone's barriers are different – but one of the kinkiest things I've heard of is needle play, which falls under BDSM. Maybe not the best thing for people with a phobia of needles.

Florence, One Half of YouTube Sex Advice Duo Come Curious

What do you think about terms like "body count" and "pussy management"?
Florence: I have to be honest here: I just had to look both of these up on Urban Dictionary, so I’m not completely clued up on the meanings here. I’ve just learnt that pussy management means... when a guy carries a girl around like a bowling ball – two fingers in the pussy and one in the ass. Would sound fun if it wasn’t for the carrying around part.

Yep, and body count is guys talking about how many girls they’ve pulled on a night out.
God, I feel so old right now. I don’t even know how to feel, because, to me, they sound sexist, like slut-shaming and just really basic. Sex shouldn’t be a game – girls aren’t a prize. And if your girlfriend found out you were calling your foreplay "pussy management" she’d probably slap you.

How many people have you slept with?
I went through a massive sex binge between the ages 19 and 23, so my number is somewhere between 35 to 40 – I lost count! And you know what, I'm proud of my number. With experience comes knowledge.

What has sleeping with these people taught you about people in general?
Having slept with a variety of people, I feel that I’ve learnt something from each one. Sex is so different with everyone, and it teaches you how everyone likes completely different things. I’ve learnt things about myself that I never thought I would. People can either open you up in the bedroom or completely close you down. But for every experience I’ve had, even though I’ve regretted many, it’s given me such insight into human behaviour and how we can help, advise and love each other better.

Would you be involved in a polyamorous marriage?
Simple answer is: no. I’m totally all for people who want to be in polyamorous relationships, open relationships, anything you want relationships. But for me, personally, I’m going to be all vanilla here and just say it isn’t for me. I’m a jealous person – not going to share my boyfriend anytime soon.

Swinging?
As I said, I love the idea of being open in your relationship and up for threesomes and whatever. But I just wouldn’t personally be able to hack it. My brain wouldn’t let me. It would haunt me for years after. I’d never be able to trust my partner if I had seen them fucking someone else. I’m so boring. But my sex isn’t, I promise.

Reed, Second Half of YouTube Sex Advice Duo Come Curious

How many people have you slept with?
Reed: I actually surprisingly haven't slept with that many people. My numbers may be between ten to 20 to 30 people. I never keep count, because I don't really believe in keeping count. I think everybody you sleep with – whether or not it was a mistake, or whether or not it was an amazing experience – are all very important to understanding your own sexual interests and becoming more mature in your life.

What has sleeping with these people taught you about people in general?
It’s shown me that even if you're a sex god and think you know everything, you really don’t. You learn something new each time, even with the same person. No one is the same and everyone gets off on something different at different times in their lives. Don’t judge what turns someone on just because you don’t understand it. Also, don’t assume if someone is bad in bed that they can never become great.

Thoughts on monogamy?
I think it's quite an old-age thing for people to do. It’s quite archaic. I see it as being a very religious thing. I know that most people in the world believe in monogamy, but I don't think it’s because they only want to sleep with that one person – I think it's to do with insecurities, trust. Personally, I think monogamy allows people to cheat and lie on their partners and the people they love most truly in the world. Monogamy is forced down our throats when we're young, when we talk about marriage – and, statistically, more and more people are unsuccessful with marriage. Statistically, people cheat more these days.

We’re complex. There’s no way we’d want to end up having sex with one person throughout our whole lives. That's just madness. And if you do end up doing that, you have to understand that's quite a depressing thought. It comes down to animalistic behaviour: we're on this earth to breed, and our hormones are telling us to have sex with as many people as possible and have babies with as many people as possible so we can spread the human race. Obviously we're more intelligent than that. I don't think all monogamy is bullshit – it can work for some people, and I think it's a nice fantasy – a nice romantic thought that people have – and we’re allowed to have that. I just don't think it should be forced on people, because it makes people really unhappy when things go wrong. And they feel bad for wanting to sleep with other people. I mean, if you're into monogamy, at least let your partner wank or have fun, otherwise they can’t get their confidence and self worth from one person only – they have to get it from other places because we’re human and we need that.

Favourite sex position?
Funnily enough, it changes with each partner I have. My current favourite position is modified doggy or flat doggy. Thanks, Cosmopolitan. It’s where the female lies down on her stomach and the man fucks you in a sort of on-your-knees position. The reason why I love this position so much is, for me, it feels more dominant. I feel you can get deeper with it. I’m very much a submissive – I like the loss of control. You can be choked in this position, you can have fingers in your mouth in this position... plus, it makes me G-spot-cum like you would not believe.

Who are better lovers, men or women?
I’ve dabbled with both. I’ve never had a relationship with a woman, but I’ve definitely had a few flings, definitely fucked a quite few girls and had a few threesomes. But I’d have to say, overall, men. Not because I’m straight, but that’s what I’m into at the moment. Anything can change. I’m very fluid with what my vagina wants, but I just love a dick. I love sex toys, but nothing quite beats a dick, especially when it’s attached to someone and they’re feeling everything your vagina is giving them. That's hot. I’ve always been into very rough play, very strong power play, rape role-play fantasies and dominance – so when I’m with a girl it’s more equal, and I haven’t done a lot of role reversal stuff there, but when I’m with a guy I can completely lose control. For some reason, that’s what gets my fanny going.

Luke Hotrod, Pornstar and Songwriter

How many people have you slept with?
Luke Hotrod: Well, that all depends on what you mean. In my seven years of doing porn, honestly I haven't got a clue, but to work it out I’d need a calculator. In my personal life before porn, I’d say roughly between 30 to 50. So, at a guess, I’d say – from the age of 15, when I lost my virginity, until now – over 1,000.

What has sleeping with these people taught you about people in general?
This is probably the hardest question you have asked me, because everyone's different. I'm sitting in a bar right now, with a friend I've known for many years. He's wearing a pair of brown shiny shoes, blues jeans and a pink shirt, ironed like his mother did it. I have on a pair of black jeans, a grey hoodie and a pair of Converse trainers. I've been very fortunate to have travelled the world as a musician all my life and worked with some of the biggest artists around the world. Then, in my porn career, I've been very lucky to have worked with some of the most beautiful women you’ll ever see. I’m 35 years old and have an amazing life, while my friend sitting next to me works for O2 in a call centre. If you were in this bar, looking at us both, you’d think he was a very wealthy businessman and that I was a poor student [laughs]. So relating this to your question, I'm going to quote you a very famous saying: "Don’t judge a book by its cover." My point being: sleeping with all the many people I have slept with has taught me that everyone is different and everyone likes different things.

What's you favourite sex position?
The girl on top, as I love slow, deep, sweaty sex with eye contact, kissing and playing with boobs. I'm a pleaser, and I love when I having chemistry with my partner and talking with them. I always say: to have the best sex, it's all about talking.

What's your kinkiest sexual experience ever?
Well, in porn, you can imagine I've done pretty much everything – but I’d say sex with my girlfriend in the back of a van, driving home after a gig, when both mine and my girlfriend's parents were [sitting] in the front.

@Shaydakisses

Tagged:
kink
relationships
monogamy
Slut Shaming
Sex positivity
polyamory
porn star