Real Lesbians Talk About the Fakery of Lesbian Porn

"Cut your bloody fingernails mate, otherwise it’s going to be really fucking painful."

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Jun 2 2017, 4:00am

This article was originally published on VICE Australia.

Watch lesbian porn for 20 seconds and you'll get the impression lesbians love nothing more than big dildos and scissoring. Loads of scissoring. But these are fantasies designed and curated by men, and they've got little bearing on the actual sex enjoyed by actual people from within the LGBTIQ community.

So we turned to some lesbian friends around Melbourne to find out how they enjoy intimacy, and to hear about how lesbian porn gets it wrong nearly every time.

Dora

VICE: Hey Dora, what's the biggest difference between lesbian porn and lesbian sex?
Dora: The biggest difference is probably intimacy. Sex for me is quite gentle and not aggressive. But in lesbian porn, they're just trying to ram shit in each other with no attempt at pleasure. Even the roughest lesbian sex I've had has not been anywhere near as aggressive.

Can you give me another example of how it's inaccurate?
There's the inaccurately loud noises, the facing away from each other, smashing their pussies up against each other. It's just not intimate whereas girls usually are. The way women are raised is to be vocal about their feelings, and that translates to lesbian sex and how intimate it is.

Do you like lesbian porn?
No, it promotes a certain stereotype, and especially for heterosexual men. They should be looking at us and respecting us and our relationships but instead of seeing two people in love, they're seeing two lesbians scissoring.

Do men show a certain interest in your sex life that you think it attributable to lesbian porn?
All the time. I would say 50 percent of straight guys comment on my sex life. I once told this guy I was in a relationship and he specifically asked me about squirting and scissoring. I don't know how he thought it was ok to ask that. If I were a straight girl and told him I had a boyfriend I don't think he would ask if my boyfriend jacked off on my face. They just project this sexual, pornographic image of your sexuality which I think is disrespectful.

Sally

Hi Sally, what's the biggest difference with lesbian porn and lesbian sex?
Long fingernails and how unrealistic it is. Also lesbain porn is way less sensual and most of the time they look disinterested.

So in real life you're a lot more interested in the other person?
I would hope so, otherwise you're doing something wrong!

Why do you think guys like to watch lesbian porn?
Because women are beautiful. I guess it's also fetishised. Even through high school boys were always like "kiss a girl, kiss a girl" or they would say "you just haven't had the right dick."

Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that it's two women instead of one?
Yeah it could be, although some people would be daunted by that!

What else is unrealistic about lesbian porn?
Fingernails is another huge thing. Cut your bloody fingernails mate otherwise it's going to be really fucking painful.

What do you think of lesbian porn?
I think it devalues our relationships. As an example I was at a party once, making out with my girlfriend at the time and this dude comes up to us and told us it was hot, like it was for him and not because we were in a relationship.

Liv

Hey Liv, how do you feel about scissoring?
It makes me cringe to be honest, it makes me really cringe. I think every lesbian has probably tried it once but it's just fucking useless. It's kind of like patting your head and rubbing your tummy. It doesn't make sense to me.

How do you think the notion of scissoring came about?
I think that when straight people typically think of sex, they think of penetration so if you're going to swap out a guy and add in another girl then that's probably the closest to penetration they think of aside from using your hands.

Do you think lesbian porn is genuine?
What real lesbian sex looks like is never really depicted properly in lesbian porn, it's more what people think lesbians do. More often than not it's just two straight girls acting. It's not really genuine but then again, is any porn genuine?

How is it ingenuine?
What you see in lesbian porn is just a lot of fake titties and bleached assholes. But if we put real people in there no one would probably watch it. It's a business industry at the end of the day.

How does real lesbian sex play out?
If you're having lesbian sex in real life there's far more that goes on, probably an argument about an ex-girlfriend in there somewhere, you know?

Jess

Are you bothered by lesbian porn?
It doesn't bother me too much but it's not how girls sleep with each other and it's not really for girls at all. I cringe if I see lesbian porn. It's always two bimbos with long nails spitting on each other. I know females watch it as well, but it is mainly for men and I guess that's where the majority of their money comes from.

What's fake about it?

For me, sex is more of an emotional bond between two people and that's not how it is in lesbian porn. In lesbian porn, they're trying to make each other have an orgasm in two seconds and that's never the case. Sleeping with a girl takes work.

What takes longer in sex that you don't see in lesbian porn?

Making girls feel safe and secure and taking time to make sure they're comfortable. You have to feel really close to them and have a connection. Lesbian sex is more about making love rather than just fucking. For a girl to orgasm they can't have a worry in the world.

What would make it more real?
Intimacy, that's all that it is really. If I want to watch porn I just go on Tumblr. It's more intimate. If any girl hasn't seen intimate porn, then look it up. People don't even kiss in porn.

What about lesbian scissoring?
Personally, I've attempted to do it once and I wasn't into it. It is such a cliché thing though, everyone's always like "you're a lesbian, you scissor" and I always say "no, I don't." The whole scissoring thing is fucking weird.

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