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General Election

We Went On an Election Night Pub Crawl

Let's escape the echo chamber and witness the results with the real British public.

It was election night, I was in Westminster and the polls had closed.

Besides a smattering of American tourists in North Face jackets and a gaggle of reporters lit up by naked spotlights, it was a ghost town. It had been since Parliament was dissolved on the 3rd of May. Still, I figured if there was anywhere to drink on election night it was in the shadow of the House of Commons.

I was hoping to escape my echo chamber and witness the results with the real British public. The impossibly out-of-reach British public. The kind I'm told don't know what a Facebook is. The kind that votes Tory. Because if we were going to spend another five years under Conservative rule, I thought I might as well get to know a few sympathisers. Face my fear. Get it out of the way.

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Starting with popular Westminster spot The Red Lion, I'd work my way from Whitehall to Walworth, stopping at every election party I could.

10PM

10:14 PM: A self-proclaimed "Cameron-ite" saying he didn't think the exit polls were representative

10:49 PM: Newcastle declare Labour's Chi Onwurah the first MP to be elected of GE2017. Here are a bunch of Lib Dems (centre) reacting to a Tory (right) shouting "Geordie cunts."

11:02 PM

11:18 PM: Honesty has won tonight

11:38 PM: "We're from the north so we don't vote."

12:13 AM: After explaining the exit polls to the bouncer:

12:50 AM: Dancing on fries with some lads from the RAF, who were shouting, "Corbyn, Corbyn, Corbyn."

12:54 AM: Some men just want to watch the world burn.

01:09 AM: REALITY

01:30 AM

02:04 AM: Tooting results incoming. A place I've spent multiple days over the past fortnight campaigning for Labour – a place the Tories spent thousands on trying to win.

02:05 AM:

02:58 AM

03:11 AM: Me waking up my mum

03:42 AM

@Oobahs / @CBethell_Photo