Artwork's Guide to Throwing the Best House Party Ever

Read this and you'll never host a washout again.

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26 May 2015, 12:20pm

A few months ago now, Magnetic Man, early dubstep don, and all round club wildman Artwork took to Twitter in search of the perfect party. "I was with Skream at an after party and we were talking about taking a rave to somebody's house. Usually with these things you just have a chat about it in the wee small hours of the morning and nothing happens, but this time round I really wanted to do it," he tells me over the phone one afternoon. "So I just asked people on Twitter if they wanted to have a party in their house and we just did it. It was pretty mental. It was Skream, Route 94, TEED and myself and we just went to someone's house and set up a party."

That party was both a raucous, roadblock affair and the genesis of one of this summer's most intriguing events. Every Friday in June, Artwork and a few friends — who he's keeping pretty firmly under wraps for now — are set to transform the Nest in Dalston into the best house party you've ever been to, apart from that first one you went to when you were eighteen and you slammed six beers with a lad in third year who was in a band that you'd seen playing the SU the week before. Welcome to Art's House.

It's not just the Nest that he's planning to burrow into. From 4-10pm on each of those Friday's, he'll be clambering up to the Dalston Roof Park for some late afternoon/early evening frivolity, serving up tunes and burgers with equal aplomb. "I won't be running the BBQ myself. I might do a little stint. I might even see if Seth Troxler wants to have a go."

Prior to putting on a pinny and readying a spatula for an afternoon of kebab-flipping, we caught up with Artwork and asked him to give us the low down on throwing the best house party in history.

Photo by ONLY BY NIGHT

THROW IT AT JONNY'S HOUSE
Jonny Banger's just moved but he used to have this house in Dalston that was pure hedonism. Everyone went there after going out. He had this huge space that everyone could dance in. It was pure party paradise. That was the spot.

KEEP THINGS EQUAL
For a perfect party, you definitely, definitely need more girls than blokes. After parties with just blokes there can get a bit...you need the girls. You want DJs there too, of course, because you get a good spread of music but be prepared for fights over who's up next on YouTube. If it's done right and you let people have their slot, it's all good.

MAKE IT LAST FOREVER.
For me, "Make It Last Forever" by Inner Life is the house party record. We always used to play that at Jonny's house becuase it was the one that got everyone into the groove, into the vibe. For a good night, you've got to have rules about the music. If someone's put a song on you can't cut it halfway through. There are some people who do that and can't help themselves but it's really important to respect other people's choices. However, if it's a shit song, it's coming off.

Photo by ONLY BY NIGHT

KEEP ON DANCING
You've got to dance. I usually look for a prop if I'm stuck. If the dressing up begins you know the party's going down the right route. Someone mummified me recently with toilet paper. I was wrapped in that, had a policeman's hat on, and someone had made me a massive tail. That was a good look.

DRINK ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.
Unless you're in an area where you can nip out and get alcohol at any point, you've got to make do with whatever's available. Even if it's a warm can of Carling, it'll have to do.

DON'T STRESS THE MESS
If you're going to invite people to your house for a party you've got to be resigned to the fact that things are going to get mashed up, that drinks are going to be spilled, and just let it go. If you're someone who runs around lifting people's feet off the table and clearing up glasses, it probably shouldn't be in your house.

INVITE THE HOLY TRINITY
If I could bring three people from the entirety of history to join me at the perfect house party, it'd be TEED, Skream, and Jackmaster.

Art's House runs every Friday throughout June at The Nest. Head here for tickets.

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