NekNominations Are What This Generation Has Instead of Punk or Rave

NekNomations, the cinnamon challenge, milking. For many, these internet crazes are the proof that young people in Britain have hit an all-time nadir of stupidity, a cultural absolute zero, the point where no form of intelligence can survive. To the commentariat, the people involved and the people who've died are victims of an increasingly banal society. A depleted culture that treasures individual peacocking over changing things for the better.

To the tabloids, they're just fucking numpties who spend too much time on the internet.

It's easy to sympathise with both points. Watching the videos of people drinking pints full of live goldfish, or dead mice, or stripping in supermarkets, or riding horses into supermarkets (these things always catch on in the countryside eventually), and you can't help but wonder just what the fuck has happened to British youth. Their ancestors were Teddy Boys, New Romantics, ravers and garage-heads. Now, they do just seem to be fucking numpties who spend too much time on the internet.

AFTER SETTING UP WHAT THE BROADSHEETS WOULD SAY, IT DOES SEEM LIKE YOU SORT OF GO DOWN THAT PATH YOURSELF. I FEEL THE KEY HERE IS TO FIND A THIRD WAY. PERHAPS THE WAY FORWARD IS TO IMAGINE IT AS LAD CULTURE – IF IT WERE PUNK – ENTERING ITS HARDCORE PHASE. OR DUBSTEP ENTERING ITS SKRILLEX PHASE. IT'S THAT POINT WHERE A CULTURE LOSES ITS ART/FUN AND BECOMES A PISSING CONTEST – QUITE LITERALLY, IN THE CASE OF NEKNOMINATE – WHERE PEOPLE JUST COMPETE TO SEE WHO CAN CONFORM MOST OUTRAGEOUSLY TO THE RULES. IT'S SORT OF WEAPONISED BANTER.

But very few people seem to be asking why people are doing this. Depending on your political persuasions, you could level the blame at anything from the international financial crisis to Jackass. It might be the bleak employment prospects young people are facing, it might be Grand Theft Auto, it might be Uni Lad culture, it might be British society's lack of respect for alcohol, it might be the lack of religious education in schools. You can choose your own scapegoat; there are more than enough to pick from.

But again, that's just looking to blame, rather than explain. For an explanation, I think we need to stop painting these people as gene pool parasites, and try to look at the appeal. To me, it seems the appeal of #NekNominations, the cinnamon challenge et al is not just the cheap thrill of being pepper-sprayed in the face, or getting your kit off in an out-of-town Saino's, but that of belonging to something, of being involved with something.

I FEEL LIKE THE POINT THAT THEY'RE DOING THIS TO "BELONG TO SOMETHING" IS A BIT TOO OBVIOUS FOR YOU – YOUR WORK IS AT ITS BEST WHEN IT USES THE CONCLUSIONS THAT OTHER PEOPLE REACH AS A STARTING POINT; YOU'RE GREAT AT PROGRESSING THINGS AND EXTRAPOLATING CONSEQUENCES. LET'S TAKE IT AS READ THAT THIS IS A SUBCULTURE – I DON'T THINK WE NEED A WHOLE ARTICLE STATING THAT FACT, BUT WE SHOULD EXPLORE THESE THINGS:

– THE CONSEQUENCES OF THESE THINGS REPLACING YOUTH SUBCULTURES – MORE THINGS LIKE THE SENTENCE IN BOLD BELOW
– A FEW POIGNANT PARAGRAPHS ABOUT WHAT WE'LL LOSE IF THINGS KEEP GOING THIS WAY. THE ROMANTIC SENSE OF IDENTITY YOU GET WITH RAVE, PUNK ETC. QUITE MOROSE IN TONE
–

I can't help but wonder, if – in its own tasteless, high-street kind of way – these (usually) self-harming internet crazes are a kind of subculture of their own. When I was 14, we had nu-metal, when I was 18, we had nu-rave. Both of these were things that could quite possibly get you knocked the fuck out.

But in 2014, subcultures are on the wane. The shopping centre water features of Britain are surrounded by kids wearing Abercrombie rather than Atticus, and it seems to me that young people in Britain have nothing to really feel a part of, nothing to risk getting beaten up for. As depressing and stupid as youth culture rivalries can be, they do give the youth something to believe in, and a sense of belonging to something more exclusive than just late-Western Capitalist society. They're basically al Qaeda for people who like to drink in parks.

THIS LINE IS FUCKING AMAZING AND SHOULD BE HIGHER UP

But due to a variety of factors that range from the post iPod-acceptance of all music to rising shop rents that mean only big chains can sell, subcultures are now little more than revivalist sub-sects forced into places like Camden Market and Bristol's Stokes Croft.

This is where internet crazes come in, they might not be about fashion or music, but they offer people that all-important sense of being part of something. Even if that something involves eating Grasshoppers.

THIS IS GREAT TOO ^ MOVE TO INTRO

Looking at the worldwide spread of these things, and the actually-pretty-creative things people do with their videos, and you can't help but feel that in some slightly misguided way, it is giving them a kind of purpose. A purpose that buying Criminal Damage jeans, or a sheet of Lino, or tickets to Fantazia once did. A purpose and place that mainstream society, with it's safe, unchallenging worldview and smattering of dead-end jobs just isn't presenting anymore.

Being involved in something that's as widely scorned and as flagrantly dangerous and anti-sensical as NekNominations or the Cinnamon Challenge is not just doing something stupid for your own kicks, it's being a part of something bigger than just the world which is immediate to you. The internet communities, the communication, the competitiveness, the appraisal, the glory of succsess when you down that quart of Glen's and set fire to your hair, and the agony when your mum takes your camera away and you can't.

THIS IS GOOD ALSO AND SHOULD BE KEPT ^

In some ways, I think it actually goes further than being just a subculture and becomes something of an unconsious ideological movement. In an increasingly homogenous world where the baby boomers are still refusing to relinquish power as modern healthcare keep them at the top into their eighties, jumping in a river feels like not just a bit of respite, but a total societal rejection. It's a kind of ignorant, beautiful, outsider nihlism. It's not a a bunch of intellectuals hiring out a church hall and talking about Nietszche, it's the bored proletariat saying "my life is futile and i'm going to up the ante a bit".

I LIKE THIS BUT I FEEL LIKE IT'S BEEN TRUE OF GENERATIONS OF YOUTH SINCE WW2. RATHER THAN PRESENTING IT AS A NEW THING WE SHOULD SAY: "IT'S NOTHING NEW – …" AND COMPARE TO OLD FORMS OF YOUTH REBELLION WHEREVER IT MAKES MOST SENSE TO DO THIS IN REWORKED TEXT

Of course, the bourgoise, the commentariat and the older generations are appalled and terrified by this lack of purpose. As Cormac McCarthy said, in No Country For Old Men, "the point is there is no point". The truth is that some men just want to watch their own hair burn.

THIS IS REALLY GOOD – I RECKON THERE'S A POINT TO BE MADE, COMBINED WITH THE "MODERN HEALTHCARE" POINT FROM PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH, THAT NOTHING SCARES/INFURIATES OLD PEOPLE LIKE YOUNG PEOPLE RISKING THEIR HEALTH/LIFE. BECAUSE THE OLDER YOU GET THE MORE AWARE OF YOUR OWN MORTALITY YOU GET. THERE'S SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IN NEKNOMINATE IN THAT SENSE AS YOU'RE ESSENTIALLY WATCHING PEOPLE WHO ARE YET TO BE WEIGHED DOWN BY THE WORLD'S BULLSHIT.

I'm not saying this hench Welsh lad is an arch provocateur to rank alongside Alistair Crowley and William Burroughs, and i'm certainly not saying that flying a plane whilst pissed is a good idea for anyone but you can't help but wonder if the NekNominators et al are just the self-destructive byproduct of a culture which no longer cares about it's youth. Looking at employment statistics, you can't really blame someone for wanting to waste their time snorting creatine whilst deliberately failing a Sports Science course at an ex-poly. What is the point of working hard or believing in traditional institutions anymore when they don't work or believe in you?

A lot of young people believed the Lib Dems would make sure there were no university fees, a lot of them voted for them on this point. Then they were completely and utterly fucked over, and surprise surpise, they've ceased to really give a shit any more. In that moment the Lib Dems did more to politically disenfranchise young people in this country than the Tories ever could, and the perverse thing is that its the Tories – with their average members' age of 68 – who will benefit from Clegg's short-termism. Sure, pouring milk over yourself in public is a long way from setting fire to yourself in public, but it's certainly a kind of post-internet way of expressing boredom. The broadsheet writers who frame copies of London Calling above their desks probably won't like it, but NekNomination is the closest thing to Punk we have these days.

I LIKE THESE PARAS A LOT BUT MUST BE CAREFUL NOT TO SAY WHAT THE BROADSHEETS WOULD

Neknominations aren't the smartest or the most tasteful thing in the world, but what's the point in being smart and tasteful any more? Fuck the system, and get it down yer neck (but try not to die in the process).