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Tales of Heroic Bravery

To Those Who Tried to Hold a Rave in an Abandoned Toys R Us, We Salute You

London police reportedly raided the toy store in late March and arrested five people.

by Phil Witmer
13 April 2018, 8:22am

Amer Ghazzal / Barcroft Images / Barcroft Media via Getty Images

Toys R Us is possibly the greatest modern example of not knowing what you've got 'til it's gone. The bankruptcy of the omnipresent toy store chain in the US and UK shocked many, who assumed that stores where people buy physical objects would never go out of business (*cut to Jeff Bezos laughing maniacally while firing Maseratis off to Jupiter*). Where one thing falls, another takes its place, as a group of revellers in London attempted to prove by holding the greatest party you've ever seen in the abandoned husk of a Toys R Us.

As reported by Variety, police in Hounslow shut down an unlicensed rave event on March 31 and arrested five people in connection. No one has been identified and it's extremely unclear as to the scale of the rave in question. It may have been 2,000 people or 20. What's the capacity of a regular sized Toys R Us? In any case, there are probably lots of pacifiers in the Babies R Us section of the store, which would explain a lot. The Hounslow police tweeted out what looks like a vandalised sign at the store, though it may just be a cheeky Photoshop.

There's been a long history of raves being held in the most unlikely of spots in the UK: 200 attendees reportedly partied it up in a literal sewer in 2017, so there is no bottom for grodiness in the subculture. This is admirable, not pathetic. What better way to celebrate life on Earth than to convert Toys R Us, a monument to excessive consumerism, into a temporary haven of hard beats and democratised euphoria? It's a noble venture. Read more about the "Raves R Us" incident here.

Phil is on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on Noisey CA.