Your Sex Life Is Officially Stressful and Disappointing
Instead of getting to enjoy fucking, British millennials just have sexual dysfunction and anxiety.
Photo by Bruno Bayley
Young British millennials are all skint with bleak financial prospects so you'd think this was the time to find enjoyment in the only pleasure in life which doesn't involve money: fucking. Given our access to Tinder and high unemployment rates, we should be sowing our seeds across the country, living the dream that the 1960s promised. Women have sexual freedom like blokes, so there's essentially nothing stopping us in 2016, right?
Except a new study shows that our pathetic sex lives are disappointing and stressful. The latest National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles of sexual health in Britain shows that large numbers of young people experience sexual problems such as pain or anxiety during sex, the inability to climax and finding intercourse difficult.
Just over a third (33.8 percent) of sexually active men aged 16-21 and 44.4 percent of sexually active young women of the same age experienced at least one problem, which lasted for at least three months, with their ability to enjoy sex in the past year.
For women, the most common problem was difficulty in reaching climax (for 21.3 percent). Other issues included lacking enjoyment in sex, feeling anxious during sex and no excitement or arousal.
Among men the biggest difficulty was having an orgasm too quickly (13.2 percent). Other problems ranged from feeling anxious to difficulty getting or keeping an erection.
"Our findings show that distressing sexual problems are not only experienced by older people in Britain," Dr Kirstin Mitchell, the lead author of the study, told the Guardian.
The gender differences in the study were significant too. One in five (22 percent) of women said they lacked interest in sex, while far fewer men – 10.5 percent – said the same. More women (9.8 percent) than men (5.4 percent) lacked enjoyment in sex, felt anxious during sex (8 percent compared with 4.8 percent of men) and experienced no excitement or arousal during sex (8 percent compared with 3.2 percent of men).
Much of this is down to terrible sex ed in schools, which is about as useful as putting a condom on a banana. Oh, wait.
If you're wallowing in misery at your three-thrust sessions, know that you're not alone. We're all fucking unsatisfactorily with you.
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