"Fingered in a fucking caravan?"
It used to be that parents had to talk to their children to find out what was going on in their lives. Now, depending on how much the kids are willing to share on social media, all mum and dad really need to do is log on and have a scroll. Mind you, while parents tend to know what a Facebook is, Twitter and Instagram – where people share their juiciest nuggets – mostly remain unexplored territory.
So what I thought I'd do is show some parents screen-shots of their kids' Twitter and Instagram activity, and then ask them what they thought about it.
AMANDA, MUM OF LEE, AKA @ghostbiggie
VICE: So what do you think of Lee's social media accounts in general?
Amanda: He's very opinionated about almost everything. But he enjoys it, talking all the time.
Do you agree with what he says on there?
I disagree with him all the time. His dad is even worse – he's very political, and that's where Lee gets his strong opinions from.
If you don't agree with him he calls you a Tory! Which is insulting to me – that's why he says it. He doesn't agree with remembering the dead through the British legion poppy. That annoys me, because whether you agree or not, he wouldn't be on Twitter now harping on if it wasn't for young people like him having to fight.
Okay – let's get into specifics. What do you think about this?
I find that very funny, to be honest; it's very interesting, as he looks like my sister! Well, minus the beard of course.
For god's sake, Tom, I've seen that arse enough – I had to look after him when he was injured at mine. No, I don't like this. I don't understand why people want to see his arse! It does make me laugh though.
What's he saying?
So basically Lee is saying he said he stopped following an account that he only followed because he fancied them because he found out they were a Tory.
Ah, right. To be honest, I don't blame him – if you're a Tory, your parents didn't bring you up right. No, I did say to my kids, "Vote who you want to vote for, but if you want to have beef stew and dumplings for tea never vote Tory." I dislike them with a passion.
He's always on about good breads for sandwiches – it's one of his gripes. I don't care, though; I don't get bothered by things like Lee.
Do you think social media has given us a place to be bothered by everything?
Yes, exactly – this is what gets on my nerves. If I tweeted like Lee – well, I'd get nothing done and everyone would be bored to death. But I think it's a generation thing. His age group love tweeting about insignificant stuff.
PAUL & DEBBIE, MUM OF JASMINE @the_chez
Hi guys. What do you think of Jasmine's online presence?
Jasmine's Parents: We fully appreciate Jasmine's comedic stance with some of her blogs; they're well received by our family and friends, too. Also, from a professional capacity [Jasmine is a freelance journalist], we can see the value of social media and Jasmine's part in it.
Are there times when you don't agree with what she does on social media?
Yes! Sometimes we read articles that we feel should probably not have been publicised for the world to read.
I'd rather not, if that's OK. I'd rather Jasmine kept private information concealed. Sometimes she can be very candid with her opinions.
I'm just going to show you some stuff of Jasmine's now, if that's cool?
Okay, deep breath!
It looks like she's having fun! It looks like she endorsing the Rolling Stones!
That's just Jasmine'0s sense of humour. We're fine with it as long as our privacy is respected, to be honest.
We're not a fan of the Tories – we're a proud Labour household – but we wish she didn't write profanities on her profile. That necklace is so garish. We have fallen out with her before when she's put things up. We know she likes to be the defender of the universe, but sometimes it would be nice if she just chilled out a bit. The world doesn't need to know what she's having for breakfast. But we are proud of her, and she knows that. But we'd like it if she just wrote more about IKEA and less about her bedroom antics.
MICK, DAD OF CHARLOTTE @CharlotteBHC
Hi Mick, what do you think about Charlotte and her online persona?
Mick: She seems very popular, and I think it's intended to show her personality.
Do you think her social media presence shows the real her?
Charlotte just seems to be Charlotte on social media, it seems to me. There may be an element of drama, but it seems to fit in with her life in general. Julie [Mick's wife] and I were quite adamant that our girls grew into independent strong women, and I see clear evidence in Charlotte's social media that, to a great extent, we succeeded.
I agree. Okay, so I'm going show you some stuff of her's now.
As parents it could be uncomfortable, but she is a married woman in her thirties, so up to her. We have a liberal attitude to gender, sexual preferences, dress, music – like, we moved Charlotte and her sister from their secondary school because the school did not respect their individuality.
It's funny! I don't get shocked easily. I mean, what's the chance of her fucking Lady Gaga anyway. And half the world's population is on their periods at some point in their life. Including Donald Trump.
It's a picture of an attractive woman. We live in an image-conscious world, but we have no problem with it whatsoever.
A fucking caravan! Since when did anyone posh have a caravan? Must have been Billy Smart's son.