Steve Aoki never really became a 'thing' here in the UK did he? We never had a collective moment when we decided that was club culture really needed was a bloke who throws cake around in time to generic big-stadium EDM froth. Sad as that is, it is just the way of the world, the curl of the burl. Steve Aoki is our version of Midge Ure's Vienna: he means nothing to us.
Perhaps that's why we're always a bit perplexed whenever he pops up on our radar, because the truth is...we're not really sure what Steve Aoki does? He can't just chuck victoria sponges around, right? Surely no man gets to spend every night of his life soaking up the adulation of engorged frat-boys in Delaware baseball grounds just because he's got enough in the current account to afford a few massive Black Forest gâteauxs? That'd be cultural insanity.
Just this morning, though, we got wind of what Mr. Aoki does when he's not scraping off soggy bottoms—remember that joke, from The Great British Bake Off, it was very funny because "bottom" is a rude word and Mary Berry is quite elderly so it is absolutely hilarious when she says the word "bottom"—and the answer just left us thinking, "Oh, right, yeah, we can quite happily go back to not really thinking about Steve Aoki very much."
For some reason Steve Aoki has remixed the theme tune to legendary Japanese manga movie Ghost in the Shell because said film is being remade, for some reason, as a live action film staring Scarlett Johansson. What does Steve Aoki's attempt sound like? Brostep! Yep, horrible, brash, wobble and woosh for men-children who live off cans of Monster and self-loathing.
Do you want to hear the squelching sound of big-budget mediocrity? It's right down there!
The new Ghost in the Shell is in cinemas soon.