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Big Narstie is Starring in the Most Ridiculous Film of All Time

Yes, that sounds like an exaggeration. But look... here's the trailer.

by Noisey Staff
26 July 2016, 10:05am

What's the worst film ever? You may be inclined to point towards Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, in which every single scene, every single word uttered, and every single move made, is an everlasting fuck up. But The Room is also the best film ever made for the exact same reason, and to say it’s the worst ignores the undeniable pleasure experienced from watching this flower shop scene, repeatedly.

In fact, the worst film ever made might not even be out yet, because the worst film ever made might actually be Gangsters, Gamblers and Geezers. And, for reasons we don’t fully understand yet, that film stars our favourite grime legend Big Narstie. Which, in the way these things always come full circle, may also make Gangsters, Gamblers and Geezers one of the best films ever made.

In case it wasn't painfully obvious from its name, the film resembles every single straight-to-DVD gangster movie trope that the UK shat out after Guy Ritchie’s Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. But it also features Big Narstie - which, we'll repeat, may make it great. Why? Please observe these screenshots of Big Narstie, who is topless, wearing a top hat and clutching a gun.

Look at that? Isn't it glorious. Big Narstie in a film, which you can watch in the cinema. He's blazed to the roof and shirtless. Oh, life. These images truly are the swings and the roundabouts that Des'ree documented in the greatest smash hit of her time. Because after these images, comes the trailer. In it, there are an avalanche of bad accents, a soundtrack that includes the words “I’m going on a ride” on repeat, and the inexplicable appearance of a muscle-clad Jodie Marsh, drenched in sweat and lifting weights. Watch below, and decide whether you want to go and see Gangsters, Gamblers and Geezers when it gets a national cinema release in September.