We've Got The Rest of Kate Moss's Music Reviews!

Music journalism is easy, dickheads. Which has been proved so deftly today by the wildly talented Kate Moss, as she turned scribe to review her BFF George Michael's album, 'Symphonica' for 'Vogue'. Luckily for you guys, we got our mitts on Ms Moss's take on the other stand-out albums released this week. Learn from a master, wannabes, learn from a master.

Skrillex – Recess

I'm on my own in the bogs of my Primrose Hill flat. After my afternoon toilet-nap I'm awoken by the gentle WUB WUB WUB opening of Skrillex's album. The hairs on my neck stand on end and I already know that I'll love this album - even before he drops the motherfucking bass like a dubstep Hiroshima.

The title track feels fragile and honest; it almost makes me cry. It's the vulnerability and openness of Fatman Scoop's voice that does it. The depth of where that comes from touches you in a place that you can't even begin to understand and all of a sudden it's not just someone throwing an Akai console down some stairs anymore; it's a mash-up rave in a car park, flanked by two bros on m-kat, windmilling themselves into heart failure. I'm overcome by the beauty of it all.

My husband Jamie walks into the toilet and passes out face first. Does he listen to the lyrics or the music I ask? "I listen for the drop," he says.

I LOVE YOU SKRILLEX!

Joey Essex Presents Essex Anthems

Somewhere between Guetta ordering me to "put my hands in da air" and Jason Derulo referencing his wang with the aid of a brass section, I begin to weep violently at the sheer unadulterated beauty of it all. By the time I've reached Ellie Goulding hyper-ventilating on this compilation, it's clear Mr Essex was truly comfortable indiscriminately grunting at a list of tracks his management compiled, to curate this stunning body of music.

You just know that getting shit-cunted on cheeky Vimtos and fist-pumping to Calvin Harris is absolutely part of Joey. Come Daniel Bedingfield's "I Gotta Get Thru This" and I've already prolapsed from exhaling in awe of his talent. Even though he struggles to remember to breathe, there's something about this breathtaking mix of "ultimate Essex bangers" that is overwhelming in its integrity, making it utterly timeless.

I LOVE YOU JOEY!

Nicholas McDonald – In The Arms Of An Angel

I've never heard of Nicholas, but I'm already overcome by the beauty of it all. As he lisps and judders away through a version of "Someone Like You" the quaaludes really kick the fuck in, and I'm touched in a way that feels far more emotional and delicate than that time I was keying bugle at 20mph through Camden, in the back of a rickshaw with Adele. Jamie says that the strings and the horns and arrangements throughout this album are tinged with the sadness of a young man who knows he's going to be filling out a JSA booklet by 2016. I don't hear that, I just hear Nicholas.

I LOVE YOU NICHOLAS!

Enrique Iglesias – Sex And Love

Enrique's "I'm A Freak" is so special. Not only is it a stunning vocal performance, it has the kind of vulnerability that can only be achieved by Pitbull serenading me with "You know I lick it and do the things that they make you explode/ You don't believe me, mami, just let-let-let-let me go loooow". With Enrique, you know singing about sloppy cunninglingus is different and real. He has the ability to take you along on that special journey to HPV with him…MAJOR!

Enrique's ability to communicate as a performer and sex pest makes you feel part of a journey, and that's a rare gift. By the time I reach "Physical", a duet with soul singer J-Lo about getting pumped after a night on the tiles, it truly cements this as such an amazing album. I'm overcome by the beauty of it all.

I LOVE YOU ENRIQUE!

As told to @FUERTESKNIGHT

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