Are you sitting down? Okay, good, because we have some news that will fuck with your perception of reality more than watching The Matrix on DMT next to a mannequin with your grandma's face on.
You remember Nick Carter, right? Nick Carter, the Backstreet Boy. Nick Carter, who once pied his younger brother Aaron Carter in the face while he was accepting a Nickelodeon award? Nick Carter, the guy whose entire career can be boiled down to this .gif? Well it turns out Nick Carter has been surveying the landscape of pop group reunions happening around him, and decided to take a massive dump over all of them. Because Nick Carter is set to write and star in a post-apocalyptic film titled Dead 7 about a "ragtag band of gunslingers" fighting a zombie plague.
"It's a zombie Western futuristic horror movie," Carter told Rolling Stone. "My character is still being worked out right now, but I'm a good guy that's going to help save the day."
Carter, who you can see in the screenshot above having the absolute time of his life as a mummified gimp in Backstreet Boys' 1997 video for "Everybody", has a vision to "bring some other people in that genre that have never really done a lot of film but that were in music in the 90s and 2000s. So far he'll be joined by fellow Backstreet Boys Howie Dorough and A.J. McLean, plus *NSync's Joey Fatone - who allegedly "gets to be the drunk". Carter also hopes to cast other musicians in key roles, including Jordan Knight from New Kids on the Block. There's no IMDb page for the film yet, but my money is on Backstreet and *NSync beginning with a "this town ain't big enough for the two of us" style shootout nodding to their media-fabricated rivalry of the 90s, then teaming up to fight some bitch ass robo-zombies.
But who would produce such a thing? You might ask. In such an insecure market, who would throw torrents of cash at a project that essentially sounds like Nick Carter burst into someone else's meeting and said "HEY! I WANT TO MAKE A MOVIE" and then made machine gun hands and went "Duhduhduhduhduh!"
"Okay, great, Nick. What genre were you thinking?"
"OH I DON'T KNOW... ALL OF THEM."
There is only one person who would make this movie, and that person is called David Latt, a man best known for producing the cult made-for-television abomination: Sharknado.
So, will Dead 7 fuse the two modern hypes of 90s revivalism and low budget movies well enough to become a cast iron phenomenon? Or will it be worse than that time Ice T got his balls blown off with an Irish magic spell in Leprechaun 5: In The Hood? Who knows. In the meantime, watch the video for "Everybody" below and envision this, only with more boyband members, more zombies, and a storyline provided by the team who brought you an entire film franchise based on the premise of freak weather disasters ushuring in a plague of giant sharks.
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