This morning I woke up to several bits of shocking news. Firstly, a banker has publicly apologised for something. Secondly, an influx of whiny babies on the Internet have caused the hashtag "heterosexual pride day" to be the top trend on Twitter. Thirdly, and most disturbing of all, Liam Gallagher has "reignited" his attack of "potato" insults on his brother and former bandmate Noel Gallagher.
As you may or may not know, the Gallagher brothers aren't the best of friends. Earlier last year Noel – who once described his little brother as "a man with a fork in a world full of soup" – opened up about the moment he finally decided to quit Oasis after an "excruciating" six months on tour in 2009, explaining to Esquire that he was flying separately to the rest of the band, while Liam was sacking tour managers "because he didn't like their shoes" and dedicating songs to his clothing label on stage. Liam, for the most part, has responded by constantly branding Noel a potato.
Without further ado, let's take a look at the brief history of Liam Gallagher calling Noel Gallagher a potato.
POTATO BEGINS - MAY 24 2016
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) May 24, 2016
2:16pm: Liam posts a photo of Noel accompanied by the caption “Potato”. This was in the middle of a Twitter feud with Noel's new producer David Holmes, who stated in an interview with Manchester Evening News that the Fun Loving Birds album he and Noel were working together on would be “fun" and that people would "be surprised by it.” Presumably, Liam had some reservations. For emphasis, he posted the tweet twice in one minute, following up with "FUCK OASIS" in all caps.
POTATO RETURNS - JUNE 29 2016
Pouting Potato LG x pic.twitter.com/K8y3AOFeYQ
— Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) June 29, 2016
6:07am: Liam posts screenshot of Noel with the caption "Pouting Potato LG x". Due to the fact that he couldn't even be bothered to crop the image to exclude his battery life and carrier information, we can deduce the time gap between taking the screenshot and when the tweet was posted, which means it took Liam Gallagher at least three minutes to come up with "pouting potato".
That's where the history ends. Like I said, it's brief. But is Noel Gallagher actually a potato or not? I have created a short pop quiz that will help both Noisey readers and Liam Gallagher determine whether or not Noel Gallagher actually is a potato.
1. Who wrote the lyrics: "I said maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me"?
Answer: The correct answer is B.
2. Who wrote the certified Gold single "Champagne Supernova"?
Answer: The answer is B.
3. Which one of these images represents the world famous musician and human being Noel Gallagher?
Answer: The answer is A. Noel Gallagher, not a potato.
4. Where do chips come from?
Answer: The answer is B. A potato, not Noel Gallagher.
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