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On VICE Sports: The Death of Drama in the BundesligaPredictably, the Footy-Banter Industrial Complex seized upon it. You could immediately imagine the faceless drones charged with running the social media accounts of online bookmakers all desperately trying to work out how to photoshop the 23-year-old to look like a floundering salmon or WWE wrestler or whatever. Gary Neville, commentating on the game, actually began to giggle. "He's trying too hard," said Martin Keown. "It becomes almost comical. He's almost like a stuntman." Even Giroud seemed to crack a rueful grin. Everyone – not for the first time – was laughing at Phil Jones.It's a sobering thing, to see a once-feted youngster slowly become a figure of fun. The question is, how did this happen? And is it too late for him to do anything about it? Looking back, his career could not have begun more promisingly. When he made his debut for Blackburn Rovers in 2010, he was immediately handed the job of man-marking Didier Drogba. "I nearly dropped to the floor," he later said upon finding out he would be starting against Chelsea, a response that actually isn't too hard to believe. This was basically Sam Allardyce asking him: "Can you swing a sack of doorknobs?", a test of manhood that the 18-year-old passed comfortably. To be honest, judging by the size of him, he could probably have marked Drogba when he was a still a kid. Seriously, look at him. I bet he smelt like a tuck shop.
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