Misbehaving Kids Could Get Burgers for Wearing Bike Helmets

Blackbird Leys is an estate in Oxford. In 1997, the Independent ran a story about the estate – more specifically, about a young girl from there who was going to be adopted by an academic family who fostered her, against her wishes. The piece opened with a joke from a 13-year-old public schoolboy about tyre theft. Blackbird Leys stands out against the extreme affluence of Oxford, and 10 years later it seems that the city of prestigious universities is still trying to fix the area, albeit by strange means.

A new initiative is being launched to incentivise children to do good things – like wearing helmets and protective gear when riding bikes, and holding hands while crossing the road – by giving them sweets and chocolates and ice creams and the like. The only thing children like more than being little bastards and putting themselves in constant grave danger is sweeties, right?

It is, presumably, being seen as a way to instil "good moral values" in the whippersnappers by rewarding them for not being little shits. Quite what moral values they're hoping to impress is at the moment unclear. To me, wearing a helmet while riding a bike isn't a particularly moral issue, for example. How does one discern 'good' behaviour? Or bad behaviour, for that matter? Is playing loudly in the street bad? Should they sit on the curb in silence in the hope of getting a Whopper? Who can say.

What I do know is that a poorer section of a largely wealthy and prosperous area teeming with bespectacled intelligentsia is being told its moral values aren't up to scratch, and that perhaps a couple of burgers will sort that out.

We reached out to Thames Valley Police for comment, who told us they will be releasing a statement about the initiative later today. We will update this article when it comes through.

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