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Gary is prone to occasional hyperbole, and I'm convinced that he'd at least try to help someone out who was self-harming. I notice a couple of thin white scars on his forearm, and while I don't press him on whether he has ever self-harmed—the scars could, of course, be nothing to do with that—I ask whether he thinks the prison could do more to help vulnerable inmates. "Yeah, they could, if they gave a shit. But look, if they can't be arsed to feed us proper food, I don't think there's much chance of them sorting out proper counselors and shit. We're just numbers to them, and it's better to accept that and just get through it whatever way works for you."Gary's library loan: Japanese Tattoo by Sandi Fellman'I KNOW A FELLA WHOSE CELLMATE KILLED HIMSELF IN THE NIGHT' Nick, 40, is awaiting sentencing having pleaded guilty to his part in a conspiracy to supply Class A drugs; he is frustrated because two other members of the gang are currently still pleading not guilty, meaning that he can't be sentenced and gain access to the kind of prison jobs and courses that will help speed up a potential move to an open prison. Nick isn't surprised when he hears the latest murder and suicide statistics, and he goes on to explain his experience of suicides."I've known suicides, probably four or five, and in most cases, it's people you could have seen coming a mile off. I knew a fella whose cellmate killed himself in the middle of the night. He woke up to a dead body on the top bunk. He was a write-off for months after that. Generally, though, if you're not directly involved, no big deal. Every man for himself.""If they can't be arsed to feed us proper food, I don't think there's much chance of them sorting out counselors"
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This prompts laughter around the table, and it becomes apparent that in what is a still an incredibly macho environment, the notion of talking through your feelings is seen as a sign of weakness, and schemes such as the peer mentoring and listeners are viewed more as a means to an end for better wages and lighter sentences. It's even suggested that people have trained as listeners in order to better facilitate selling drugs.This is all a bit depressing, but Philip does say that he's taken some satisfaction from helping out a few of the younger lads he's come across via the peer mentoring. "First-timers proper shitting themselves are exactly the kind of kids who might do something stupid. If I can help them, then I'll do my best. Most of the screws won't that's for sure." Philip's library loan: I Am Zlatan by Zlatan Ibrahimovic'GANG KILLINGS WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN' Paul, 35, is being released next week after serving a short sentence for non-payment of fines. This will have been his fourth time in prison, and he tells me that the only time he has ever felt worried in this environment was when a prisoner was murdered, seemingly arbitrarily, in 2014. "I couldn't sleep for about a week, literally not at all. Don't get me wrong, prisons are fucking horrible places, and I hate screws, but up to that point, I'd always felt safe. Even though they caught the cunt straight away, it just completely changed the atmosphere. The screws were on edge. People didn't want to come out of their cells…"I ask Paul whether he thinks anything could have been done to avoid the murder. "Honestly I think it was a one-off. I've never seen anything like it before. He was a proper nutcase and probably somewhere along the line wasn't diagnosed. I think gang killings will always happen, though. You can try and keep people apart, but if they're that desperate to kill someone, they'll always find a way."Paul's library loan: A Clash of Kings by George R.R. MartinSpeaking to the men in the prison library, it's clear that their focus is by and large on their own welfare, and this is fair enough—it's a tough situation they're in, and their priority has to be themselves. It's also evident that they have limited faith in the prison service when it comes to prisoner welfare, and while this might not be such a big problem for people who know how to handle themselves inside, it's a pretty major one for young and particularly vulnerable prisoners. Michael Gove's prison project, which looks to give prisoners who study hard early release, has some pretty lofty aims, but it's hard to see how any of them can be achieved without first ensuring that the weakest and most vulnerable prisoners are safe and not in immediate danger from either themselves or others.If I can help first-timers out then I'll do my best. Most of the screws won't, that's for sure