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Deviants

Someone Has Been Shitting in the Holes of a Golf Course for 10 Years

Who is this mystery poo-bandit, and what is their motive?

by Sean Newell
19 October 2017, 8:15am

Photo: Pixabay

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports

There is a very detailed account published in Rogaland Avis about a decade's worth of shitting on a Norwegian golf course.

Beginning in 2005, groundskeeper Kenneth Tennfjord claims a mystery person has been relieving themselves in the holes at the Stavanger Golf Club course with little to no remorse, and this person hasn't stopped since.

UPI also has a writeup about the Turd Bandit and provides some important answers to burning questions:

Do we know the person's gender? Not 100 percent, but the assumption is that it is a man "because the poos are too massive to be from a woman".

Does he have a favorite hole in which to shit? "He has a couple of favourite holes."

Does he have a regular schedule? "He poos only on weekdays. On weekends I have never found poo on the golf course."

Has the club done anything to counteract this pooping menace? Yes, "the club installed high-powered spotlights to discourage the defecation, but the poop-etrator disabled them."

Did it work? No. "He climbed up a tree next to the lights and wriggled far out on a branch and dismantled the spotlights. How he managed the feat without electrocuting himself or falling is a riddle."

Does anyone have any theories, or possible motives? "Our idea is that it could be someone who, for unknown reasons, hates the game of golf. Alternatively, the person may have a fetish or suffer from mental problems," said the course's managing director.

Is there perhaps some beautiful imagery about the whole pooing-on-a-golf-course-for-a-decade thing? "In the early morning dew we observed bicycle tracks on the course. Footsteps showed that he had done his business, and the bicycle tracks disappeared back the way they came."