Ronda Rousey appeared on The Ellen Show earlier today and spoke very candidly about her state of mind immediately following her stunning loss to Holly Holm last November. From the looks of it, she was there to talk about her appearance in Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit issue, but Ellen had her talk about the loss to Holm first. She offered some scary details from inside the ring, including that she was basically knocked out on her feet from the first exchange and she doesn't remember most of the fight. "It's not about pain, or things happening, it's just things stop working, you know? My brain stopped working properly."Ellen pressed her some more about what she was feeling, specifically about whether she was concerned she did permanent damage to herself physically, but Rousey began tearing up as she described that she was actually most concerned with her mental state of mind.
It's amazing to get this kind of candor out of a fighter—juxtapose this with Rousey explaining earlier how hard she tried to avoid showing any vulnerability during the fight because fighters will pounce on any sign of weakness—especially when she's still active and wants her next fight to be the woman who knocked her out.h/t Deadspin"Honestly, my thought, I was in the medical room down in the corner, I was like 'what am I anymore, if I'm not this?' And I was literally sitting there thinking about killing myself in that exact second. I'm like 'I'm nothing, what do I do anymore and no one gives a shit about me anymore without this.' To be honest I looked up and saw my man Travis was standing there and I was looking up at him and I was like 'I need to have his babies, I need to stay alive.'"