Photo: Zoopla
What is living in London like? Hell. Here’s proof, beyond all doubt, that renting in London is a nightmare.
Where is it? Clapham, and the nerve-twitch reaction your body just made on reading that word should tell you everything you need to know about your ability to live there. If you just felt a full-body shudder, a kind of distant back-of-the-neck sick feeling, a quick-onset judder of anxiety, a single-flash memory of Inferno’s, smelled smoke and dust-thick air and heard, distantly, a small crowd of voices shrieking “SHOTTTTTS!”: you are not equipped for Clapham. If you just said, out loud, “Oh fuck yeah, frisbee!” then yes, you are prepared for Clapham. You are fine for Clapham. You should personally be in Clapham, so you can’t infect anywhere else with your sheer Clapham-ness.
What is there to do locally? The only things to do in Clapham are "be Australian", "be an estate agent", or "do group workouts in a park". Occasionally you are allowed to go to one of those overlit no-trainers policy bars that has loads of TVs but doesn’t show the football, and you can buy a £14 vodka–tonic for someone who thinks Dubai is not only a luxurious holiday destination, but a chic one, too. But that’s about it.
Alright, how much are they asking? To you? £1,040 p.c.m.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement