Men Talk About What They Think Women Feel During an Orgasm
"When a woman has an orgasm, techno music is playing in her head. If it's not techno, you know she's faking it."
This article originally appeared on VICE Serbia
Having an orgasm as a woman is absolutely amazing, but nothing to make a big fuss over. Over the course of history however, women's sexuality has been so repressed and punished, that our orgasms have been endlessly theorised on and defined by men. Freud, for example, hypothesised that young women have "clitoral orgasms" and that once women mature, they upscale to "vaginal orgasms".
Recent research proves the obvious: women can orgasm in myriad of different ways and with different kinds of intensities – and age has nothing to do with any of it. Clitoral, vaginal, both at the same time or one leading to the other – it's all good. We wanted to see if men nowadays are any wiser about female orgasms than their grandads, so we went out on the streets of Belgrade and asked a few of them what they imagine a woman feels like when she comes.
"I always think female orgasms are basically the same as male ones – that you feel this surge of warmth and confidence. It might last longer for women than for us. Generally, men immediately lose interest in sex after they've come, while women can still be in the mood to go on for a while. It's physiological, a change felt in the whole being. When a woman comes, I think she feels she owns the person she's having sex with, that that person belongs only to her."
"When a woman has an orgasm, techno music is playing in her head. There is nothing else – just techno and the universe. She gets into a state of trance, travels to places I can't go. If it's not techno, you know she's faking it. Her orgasm is not something that just happens in her body or in a particular part of her body – she leaves her body during her orgasm."
"Female orgasms are all 100 percent in a woman's head. I think it would be like being on a rollercoaster ride – it can be amazing and thrilling but also terrible, depending on the moment and who is with you. I've read that what brings a girl to orgasm depends on her astrology sign. If you're a Cancer you're more emotional, while if you're a Virgo you have very strong ideas on how the foreplay should be. Apparently, the relationship between the sun and Uranus is very important – if they are in the same quadrant, a woman prefers it a little more rough. Anyway, I think if a guy has sex with a girl and wants to make her come, it would be good for him to know what her sign is."
STRAHINJA 20, Bogdan, 20 and JOVAN, 20
Strahinja: "When a woman has an orgasm, her mind goes to Disneyland. I think for her, it's like the orgasm is in both of our bodies and she's just not really aware in what body she is anymore. I think it's more important that she comes than that I do. When she comes, she'll talk about it later to her friends. And those friends will tell their friends."
Bogdan: "You can tell a girl has an orgasm when she gets goosebumps and she rolls her eyes so you only see the white in them. If she scratches your back you can feel it for days, but these are consequences I'm prepared to face. It's really important for me that my girl comes, especially when I'm in a relationship. If you both have an orgasm there's a mutual gratitude. You can high five each other."
Jovan: "I don't talk with other people about orgasms, only with my girlfriend."
"I haven't given it much thought, to be honest. Women feel their orgasms longer, so it will mean more to them than us. They feel it with their whole body, though I don't know how to recognise it very well – it's so different for every girl. I wish I knew what it's like in her head, that would make it so much easier for me. Might be a bit like a volcano erupting."
"If you love the person you're with, the experience is completely different than with a one-night stand. When it's just the once, a woman will just want to make sure she's satisfied and has enough pleasure. When she really loves you, she'll want to make sure you have a good time too. If she's not satisfied, it's not lovemaking. I guess for a woman a true orgasm is closeness and coalescence. What I know for sure is that what you see in movies – women closing their eyes and biting their lips – that doesn't mean she's come."
"When a woman has an orgasm, I think the world around her is not important anymore – the only thing she feels is you inside her. The rest is just silence and darkness. Time does not exist, every touch becomes eternal, her feelings are so intense that her brain overheats and her conscience reaches to the universe. The energy between you two is so shared that she's not even aware of her own name. That's how I imagine it."
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