David Cameron is skating down a hill. He's weaving in and out of traffic, whizzing past old ladies with their tiny dogs. He skates over a manhole cover; a water worker pokes his head up from below and shakes his fist at the Tory daredevil. He runs a red light. Is he wearing a helmet and kneepads? Is he fuck. While grinding the hand rail of a nearby official building, perhaps a police station, he gets his phone out, opens Snapchat and adorns himself in a PewDiePie filter while blaring Section Boyz from his Beats portable speaker. After screeching to a halt in front of the local youth centre to play pool and use the trampoline, Cameron inhales a "dab" of cannabis oil imported from Cali, then hits the dab (along with a small nae nae) and asks: "Are you #VOTIN?"
Not really. But as far as hashtags go, #VOTIN is probably one of the more embarrassing ones, up there with #humblebrag and #photosofmycolonic. It also has the misfortune to be accompanied by a terrible video, which is apparently a robot's attempt at creating content for young people based on watching a Mr Oizo music video.
The video, a promotional ad created by the Stronger In campaign, encourages the whippersnappers of the UK to vote #IN (or #VOTIN) in the Euref (European referendum). A slew of young creatives are seeing doing things that are only possible if we stay within the confines of our continental overlords. You know, MAKIN, EARNIN, other ing-words without the G on. These things include, but are not limited to: sky diving, doing graffiti, texting, swimming, drinking wine, using a cashpoint, talking out loud, walking, hugging someone and getting on a plane. Imagine what might happen on the 24th of June if we voted to leave: Donald Tusk, president of the European Council, coming to your house, confiscating your phone, your arms, your lips and your spray cans. The horror.
This is all set to a glitchy video-game-esque 8-bit soundtrack, something that hasn't been used in most games for over 20 years. But the kids, they love the Mario! The Bomberman! And hey, how's about that Pong? Bleep bloop, you will be poor if we don't stay in! Zorp bang, you'll never sky dive again in your life without Europe! Damn son, you're making my mind up for me, #VOTIN campaign!
As a young person, this ad actively makes me want to spoil my vote by pouring Slush Puppies and melted gluten free Peppa Pig sweets all over it. Don't they realise they're talking to generation charity? We'd be more responsive to a video of a dying child or a grieving mother than a bunch of shit-munchers enjoying a Pro-seccy on the roof terrace of some god-awful arsehole ant farm. Know your audience, Europe!
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