Credit: YouTube
Fabian Delph might play his football in Manchester, but his heart is roughly 35 miles away – deep in the valleys of West Yorkshire. Born under the granite skies of post-industrial Bradford, a Yorkshire soul resides in his breast. Yorkshire is to Delph what the sun is to flowers. Yorkshire is to Delph what yeast is to bread. Yorkshire is to Delph what coal is to a metallurgical blast furnace. Delph lives Yorkshire, he breathes Yorkshire. Cut Delph, and he bleeds the bright red blood of a Yorkshireman.Delph is the sort of man who calls Yorkshire "God's own country" without a hint of irony. We imagine an average day in Delph's life consists of going t' post office, walking t' dog and then going down t' pub for a sup o' Farmers Stout. If there's a world south of Sheffield, Delph is not aware of it.Likewise, he knows absolutely nowt about Ireland.In an interview with Man City's official YouTube channel, Delph has been asked to translate a series of Irish colloquialisms by Northern Irish presenter Nicola McCarthy. In return, she will translate a series of Yorkshire sayings. It's meant to be a fun, jaunty exercise in frivolous entertainment. Unfortunately, it soon becomes a death struggle between Delph and a language other than that found in the West Riding.Unlike McCarthy, Delph simply refuses to recognise standardised, dictionary English. When faced with Irish slang, he can only respond in Yorkshire dialect. So, for instance, when McCarthy is asked to translate "Yer ma's blootered again", she writes: "Your mummy's drunk again". Delph writes: "Mum is steaming".Mum's been down t' pub, she's steaming, and that's final. None of this "drunk" faff, you daft berk.When asked to translate "Give us a gravy ring", Delph is told it's "a sweet kind of food". "Bit of gravy" comes the reply, before he bursts into throaty laughter. It's hard not to feel that gravy is the only food he knows – that he's literally been brought up on gallons and gallons of gravy, with a Yorkshire pudding thrown in every now and then.Inevitably, Delph's total linguistic inflexibility results in him losing the slang contest. Nonetheless, when it comes to being Yorkshire as fuck – spiritually, existentially Yorkshire – he wins any competition down pat.
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