Ben Machell

A Small Minority of Idiots

Andy Carroll and the Art of the Skill Vid

The West Ham striker's endearingly shit videos show us how the world of football vines, mad skills and tekkers is warping our expectations of the game.
Ben Machell
9.4.15
A Small Minority of Idiots

Sepp Blatter: How Football's Biggest Piss-Taker Fell to Earth

A cautionary tale of bribery, stupidity and an obese, parrot-loving snitch.
Ben Machell
6.3.15
A Small Minority of Idiots

An Ode to Phil Jones, Football's Gurning, Well-Meaning Stuntman

The magnificent clumsiness of Manchester United's least cultured centre-back.
Ben Machell
5.22.15
someone hug nigel pearson

Nigel Pearson – What's Wrong, Mate?

Nigel Pearson is the most bizarre and complex English manager to arrive on the scene in years. What's up with the buzz-topped Leicester boss? Maybe he just needs a hug.
Ben Machell
5.12.15
Sports

Nigel Pearson – What's Wrong, Mate?

Getting to the bottom of English football's bastard stepdad.
Ben Machell
5.9.15
A Small Minority of Idiots

What I've Learnt from Meeting Lee Chapman, Pelé and Other Footballing Heroes

I got drunk with my childhood hero on the King's Road in 2009. Pelé, I met last week.
Ben Machell
4.28.15
Football

The Ballad of Steve Bruce: Premier League Punching Bag

There is something enduring and beautiful about Hull City manager Steve Bruce, the self-confessed 'dinosaur' with an unsullied love for football.
Ben Machell
4.13.15
A Small Minority of Idiots

The Ballad of Steve Bruce: Premier League Punching Bag

Another season of the Hull City manager will soon have passed: a comfortingly familiar sack of puffed-out cheeks, rueful sighs and inevitable negative goal difference.
Ben Machell
4.13.15
A Small Minority of Idiots

Abou Diaby and My Fetish for Non-Playing Players

Stuart Taylor. Pegguy Arpexhad. Stuart Taylor. Where are you?
Ben Machell
4.4.15
Sports

I Love You, Yaya Toure – Please Never Leave

On the pitch, the Manchester City hammer is as close to a FIFA cheat code as you can get. Off-field, he's got a weird Russian agent and he "respects money". The athletic enigma that is Yaya Touré.
Ben Machell
3.20.15
A Small Minority of Idiots

The Sad Decline of English Football's Knucklehead Centre-Backs

50 headed clearances then cutting Julian Joachim in half: England used to rule the world in terms of centre-backs who looked like brickies.
Ben Machell
3.13.15
A Small Minority of Idiots

Papiss Cisse vs Jonny Evans: The Psychology of Football's 'Salivagate'

Spitting short-circuits the footballers' psyches by rubbing salt into their sorest point – their ego.
Ben Machell
3.6.15
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