Joel Golby
Joel Golby is a writer for VICE UK and the author of the book Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant
Rental Opportunity of the Week: This Studio Is a Huge Aesthetic Mistake
We have all made aesthetic mistakes: outfits, haircuts, tattoos. But does that fully explain this claustrophobic brick-effect wallpaper?
Rental Opportunity of the Week: This Flat For Rent Will Induce An Existential Breakdown
Let's say you wake up here one morning. How long would it take till you cracked and went mad?
Rental Opportunity of the Week: A Flat So Bad It Will Make You Quit London
Calling it a “bedroom” seems like a slur on other, actual, functional bedrooms.
Rental Opportunity of the Week: This 'Tasteful' Flat Is Actually a Trick
Yes, you have lovely bay windows. You also don't have a separate bedroom, an oven or a washing machine, sorry!
Rental Opportunity of the Week: An Attic With an Ominous Hole For a Grand
“I do not know whether a small yellowing man with grey teeth might scuttle through there and hiss at you at night. I would have to check.”
Rental Opportunity of the Week: Some Guy’s Sofa for £850
Ah, oh: The cost of living crisis is finally hitting London’s horny landlords.
The Queue Is the Only Thing That Matters Now
In Britain, we take great pride in our queueing, because we are culturally destitute – hence why the line to see the Queen is now 14 hours long.
Rental Opportunity of the Week: This Flat Is Literally Just a Room
A flat so stupidly tiny that even Foxtons took the listing down.
Rental Opportunity of the Week: The Wildest Example of 'Landlord Brain' Yet
Cutting a hole in the ceiling to accommodate a window? That's just landlord entrepreneurialism at its finest.
Rental Opportunity of the Week: A Child-Sized Bed and a Microwave For £950
Probably not suitable for anyone who wants to sleep or eat three hot meals a day.
Rental Opportunity of the Week: Even the Rich are Doing Beds in Kitchens
If this is what £2,499 a month buys you, then the rest of us will soon be toast.
Rental Opportunity of the Week: £1,100 to Pay Your Neighbour’s Bills
Mentally, I am wondering exactly which step my ancestors took that led us all to here.