Girl Eats Food - Kool-Aid Donuts

Kool-Aid got a bad rap when Jimmy Jones and 900 happy campers slaughtered themselves with spiked Grape-Aid, but you should never let a mass suicide stand in the way of a decent donut.

by Joanna Fuertes Knight

October 17, 2011, 7:30am

Kool-Aid got a bad rap when Jimmy Jones and 900 happy campers slaughtered themselves with spiked Grape-Aid, but you should never let a mass suicide stand in the way of a decent donut. The People’s Temple may not have been very lulz, but adorable, crazy colored donuts sure are. Honestly, until I stumbled across this gross/ amazing (gramazing?) recipe for Kool-Aid donut rings, I always thought powdered drinks were either for bomb shelter situations or to be used as rehydration salts after a bout of explosive diarrhea. But it turns out they’re super versatile. Kool-Aid Donuts Way back in the first Girl Eats Food, we name-checked cholesterol bullying Charlie Boghosian, the man who would deep-fry his own children if it made for a great, circus freak of a meal. His latest brainwave was this monstrosity of deep-fried Kool-Aid batter, because clearly a drink that has enough additives in it to rot your frontal lobe and looks like clown urine deserves to be a ridiculous snack too.

Ingredients

1lb x self-raising flour
1 x tsp baking powder
3oz x caster sugar
2 x medium eggs
2tbsp x sunflower oil
6.5oz x milk
1 x sachet of Kool-Aid Step 1.

Jesus shit, I’m not explaining this again.

Step 2.

Look at that guy, isn't he chirpy? If he had his own suicide cult, I'd probably be pretty up for it.

Once well mixed, sprinkle in your sachet of rainbow chemicals and knead into the dough.

Step 3.

I made one batch of Tropical Punch dough and another of Berry Blue because I’m bomb like that.

Step 4.

Flour your dough balls and roll them out till they're about a centimeter thick and look like a frisbee.

Step 5.

If you’re a more organized cook you can do the next steps with biscuit cutters. If you’re just a lonely old wino, you can use a pair of carefully chosen glasses to cut out the donut shapes.

Step 6.

Make some ring holes with the smaller glass.

At this point they look like the kind of enormous bits of plastic that children are addicted to.

Step 7.

Frying time! You’ll need dark, John Candy, expensive, oil spring levels of fat to pan cook these, but it’s totally worth it. Plunge the rings into hot oil and cook till they’re super puffed up.

Step 8.

OK, so they didn’t puff up quite as much I wanted them to. Fuck off.

Step 9.

Toss your rings, while they’re still warm, into a food bag full of sugar.

In less than half an hour you’ll have these squidgy halos. Aren't they pretty? They're so pretty you might wanna use them to play unicorn hoopla with instead of eating them.