DEAR VICE - SOMETHING ABOUT VAGINA OYSTERS?

Dear

Vice

, I am pissed off. Nay, shall I rephrase last said? I can be AND grossed the fuck out AND articulate. I am severely displeasured. I feel deeply violated in my internet rights. Mother desecrating Facebook killed my entire account without any notice, previous censorship or even compassion over one magnificent picture. When I try logging in, I am served with: "Your account has been disabled. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here." Give that FAQ to your mom, maybe she needs it. I know how to differentiate respectable from smut. I don't post porn, hatred, or even care to bitch about a dislike button. All I did was have a picture showing a mussel in between my red lips as my profile picture. Yes, it resembles the female genitals. Indeed, that shows my naughty intentions, but can you brand it obscene? Dare. A mussel may look like a pussy in a shell, but if God decided that it was a perfect creature than who is Facebook to brand it a pornstar? Or me? I am a good girl, a good, good girl you hear me? I don't appreciate having to readd 300 something of my closest friends to a naked new account over being original. I want revenge. I sent an e-mail to the apparatus, but will I get a response? Heck no, I am just a puny mortal. Thy VICE! You care about people right? Hm, ok maybe not, but you care about wicked cool pictures to make you look good too right? Well… take my musselbreathpic and do something with it. Call it an outrage and say something like… Mark Zuckerberg must be really gay if he even dislikes mussels for looking vaginal. Or not, put it on the front cover of an issue and make me famous while at it, or or… post this letter, or… you know. Avenge me for the sake of art, beauty, wannabe art, freedom of speech and against the sexual objectification of the mussel. Gracias, NATALIA LOLA X

Vice sez: So wait… then it's not a crotch? But facebook thinks it is? Or it… is? Sorry, we keep trying to read through the email, but your syntax makes our brain sound like this:

[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/01/war.mp3]

We're just going to go lay down for a bit. Does anyone else smell burnt toast?