What Does Europe Make of That Anti-EU, Pro-Brexit ‘Three Lions’ Parody Video?

I'm still thinking about it, I don't know about you. This. This is what I'm thinking about. This:

The socks, I think, are what I can't get over: well I mean are they socks? Or are they boots? Are they art? It's hard to know. It's hard to know, in general, what to make of UKIP parliamentary candidate Mandy Boylett's anti-EU 'Three Lions' parody, even days later. I live my life now in the wake of this song. I make a tea at night and stare out of glassy windows into the dark, and think, "they've stolen all our fish." I wake up in the night, sweating and freezing at the same time, moved by the knowledge that our flag's red, white and blue. More than just a star.

Anyway, for many on the continent, this is just Britain, this is, this is just what we're like. We're a country of sequinned vest tops and wearing wigs so we can dance with ourselves in front of green screen. So we asked VICE Europe editors from various countries to tell us what they made of it all – and the Brexit stuff, even though it's four incredibly long months away – and, for the most part, they were quite confused. Here are their thoughts:

When you share a language with only about 6million other people in the world like we Danes do, you naturally develop a sort of little brother/big brother relationship with a larger country wielding this trendy pop culture mother tongue, in which all things remotely cool or relevant in the hemisphere are happening. And for us, that country used to be you, Britain. Once a land brimming with proud and graceful people, known far and wide for your vast array of horseback-based sports and flurry of non-sensical words like "poppycock" and "haberdashery". Then came this video.

Now, fair enough, every country has their own brand of UKIP-py yahoos confounding the internet with misled attempts at parody, style and portrayals of believable human behaviour. But in the course of three minutes that can never be unseen, the Union Jack goes from being one of the last remaining symbols of a once-feared empire, to being defiled beyond redemption through a single sequinned vest.

It's too easy to take shots at the production value here. And yet, it would somehow feel wrong not to (is that Comic Sans on the intro slide?). Consider that this is the finished product. Red-blooded British folks hoping to instill a sense of national pride okayed this. Special flag effects have been added. Confusing lines about fish were hastily written and chuckled at. The hauntingly soulless swaying happening from 2:01-2:14 was based on a conscious decision to produce possibly the saddest 13 seconds in British history.

If you really do want out, and this video is the flex before the Brex(it), then well played. After this, you have all of our blessing.

Alfred Maddox, VICE Denmark

I think it's fair to say that the entire planet should be thankful for Mandy Boylett, UKIP member extraordinaire, for this unbelievable, tragically sad and absolutely hilarious-but-in-a-shoot-me-now-kinda-way video. Where does one start with this shit? The magnificent choreography, the top-of-the-line production values, the sheer fun and excitement those two girls seem to be sharing? Or it could just be that William Blake-esque lyric that proudly says, "they've taken all our fish and money through the years."

Even for a party that is essentially one long-running joke, this is a bit much. Consider: this easily surpasses their UKIP Calypso number. That's how bad it is. It is worse than the UKIP Calypso. And this deep cut dropped only a day after David Cameron's announcement that a referendum would be held on the 23rd of June 2016, meaning we're doomed to four more months of such works of utter paranoia like this lobbed in our general direction. Four months. Four.

For those that fancy a bit of weird date matching, here's a bit of trivia: Mandy Boylett's red hot bang-a-lang-a-banger has landed on our fair planet exactly 20 years after the release of Trainspotting. There's a lesson in there somewhere or something. We're sure of it.

– Yannis Makrogiannelis, VICE Greece

I don't want to make fun of those two poor girls, even though they are the same girl, because it would be too easy – they are ridiculous, everyone knows it. You know, this video doesn't surprise me much. People don't care about the European Union and see the association as a big useless and expensive 'thing'. When you add the refugee crisis, the Eurozone's problems and the terrorists threats, what do you get? Citizens who just want to live inside huge walls.

Romain Gonzalez, VICE France

I guess this is the kind of video that would play on repeat on every TV channel in the world once the nuclear holocaust is upon us. Please go on and watch it again with that image in your mind and tell me you are not afraid of the world turning into ruins and dust while these two ladies-who-are-the-same-lady keep pretending they're not held prisoner in some paramilitary UKIP basement. Also, I'm having a hard time understanding what their boots are made of. They look like wrestling attire made of armadillo carcasses in a world where Mad Max is an actual person and President Bernie Sanders finally banned heterosexual weddings.

Markus Lust, VICE Austria

I think I can say that in general Dutch people love the Brits; we really do. It would be very sad if the UK would ever leave the European Union. Still, let's not deny the fact that there are some irreconcilable differences between us, Continental Europeans, and the Brits. This clip is a perfectly clear example of that. There is nothing in the world more British than this clip. Even that huge waving Union Jack is less British than those very bare and pale arms and legs of the duplicated lady, which are a perfect demonstration of the fact that Brits won't ever be caught dead wearing a coat or pants if there's the option of wearing a sleeveless top over a skirt so short it'd be considered a belt on the mainland. Especially when it's so windy, like in this clip. The nonchalance with which the lady wears those silly wigs is the kind of nonchalance Europeans haven't felt since way before all those wars you partly saved us from/got us into. I'm not completely sure if those boots – which look like Snake from Metal Gear stepped in a giant armadillo – are typically British (or even if they are boots, and not socks) but I am pretty sure that nobody in Europe would ever wear them. Cultural differences like these make it very sad – but in a way also understandable – if the UK would ever leave the EU.

Ewout Lowie, VICE Netherlands

To begin with, I think this song is awesome. It's catchy and the girls dance in a really cool fashion. The thing is that I don't think it works as a parody of the typical British white trash ratchet: I think these two girls are nice and gentle. In fact, I'll marry them. Maybe they have some savings. Who knows. I always saw this stereotype as rude and obnoxious but in this vid they reveal it as a really cute form of life.

In my opinion the video in general is too politically correct, this is not dangerous at all. I thought British humour was sharper. In some way it makes me sad and I wish you were out of Europe in order to help these two girls, just for these two. If it makes them happy, I'm for it. Just one question, are they wearing boots or this is just money with duct tape all around their legs?

Pol Rodellar, VICE Spain

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