CAPS LOCK REVIEWS

3.4.14

Rick Ross' 'Mastermind' - The Kid Mero Review

I READ THIS TRACKLIST ON PAPER AND WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT FRENCH MONTANA IS ALL OVER THIS AND THERE'S A JOINT WITH MAVADO?! THEN I PUT IT ON AND IT WAS WILD BORING.

10.30.13

KATY PERRY'S "PRISM" IS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY

CUZ SOME OF THESE JOINTS ARE BRAINWASH TUNEZ AND SOME ARE JUST MUSIC TO OD ON MOLLY TO.

10.21.13

Danny Brown's 'Old' - The Kid Mero Review

"THIS ALBUM IS BASICALLY A GANGSTA CLIT PIERCING. I MEAN THAT IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAY POSSIBLE."

10.8.13

Haim's 'Days Are Gone' Makes Me Want to Do Jumping Jacks and Smile Broadly

I WOULD ONLY LISTEN TO HAIM WHILE DOING COCAINE IN THE BACK TO THE FUTURE CAR AND HOLDING HANDS WITH A GIRL DRESSED LIKE A HOMELESS CYNDI LAUPER.

10.7.13

Miley Cyrus's 'Bangerz' - The Kid Mero Review

THERE'S SO MANY THINGS THAT ARE UNFAVORABLE THAT I WOULD RATHER LISTEN TO THAN THIS SHIT.

7.3.13

Joey Bada$$' 'Summer Knights' Is Excellent Weed Smoking Music from 1997

"I WOULDA GIVEN IT A 4 BUT I RAN OUTTA WEED."

Advertisement
7.2.13

Migos' "Versace" Should Have Been Called "Fuhsachee" But It's Still Great

MIGOS ARE INCOHERENT BUT THEY'RE ABOUT TO HAVE THE SUMMER ON SMASH I'M PREDICTING THE SHIT RIGHT NOW.

6.14.13

Surfer Blood's 'Pythons' Is for When I Want to Have a Carefree Afternoon Free of Aggression

I'M GONNA GO FILM A SKATE VIDEO PART TO THE SHIT.

6.12.13

J. Cole's 'Born Sinner' Is OK But Maybe I'm Just In a Great Mood

I FEEL LIKE I'M LISTENING TO MY FRIEND COMPLAIN WHILE I'M PLAYING CALL OF DUTY HIGH.

5.30.13

French Montana's 'Excuse My French' Is a Masterpiece Full of Arbitrary Violence and Strip Club Sonatas

THIS IS THIS GENERATION'S 'ILLMATIC' AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOU'VE NEVER SHOT A GUN AT ANOTHER HUMAN.

5.20.13

The National's 'Trouble Will Find Me' Is Musical Ambien

YO I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP LISTENING TO THIS I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING B.

4.24.13

Rob Zombie's 'Regeneration Vendor' Makes Mothers Cry Because When Their Children Listen to it They Inadvertently Prove That They Are Devoid of Swag

IF YOU'RE A NORMAL HUMAN THAT HAS SEX SOMEWHAT REGULARLY AND DOESN'T CHEW UP FOOD THEN STICK THEIR TONGUE OUT LIKE "BLLLEEEEGGGHHH" WHILE ROLLING YOUR EYES BACK THEN YOU NEED TO NOT FUCK WITH THIS AT ALL B.

0104