Nick Gazin's Frozen Food Reviews
I Will Review Frozen Food No More Forever
As Amy's Kitchen served me and my coworkers lunch, I looked around the room and realized something: I can go nowhere from here. This will be my final frozen food column for VICE.
Frozen Mac and Cheese Is a Food Product That Shouldn't Exist
If you like mac and cheese, there's no reason to not just boil some on the stove and make it yourself, even if you use that powdered cheese stuff.
I Ate $40-Worth of Ice Cream and Now I Hate Myself
My editors set out to humiliate me and make me physically ill by ordering me to go to an ice cream truck in Brooklyn and eat everything. I ended up face down in a gutter with sprinkles and ice cream all over my face and clothes.
Frozen French Fries Are Basically Just Warm, Soggy Potato Strings
Waffle, crinkled, greasy, or covered with rosemary, I don't discriminate when it comes to the fry. It's all the same garbage.
More Like General Tso Tso's: Reviews of Frozen Chinese Food
Although I am very fond of Chinese food, it is exceedingly hard to find good Chinese restaurants, so finding frozen Chinese food in my grocery store was a godsend.
Frozen Chicken Nuggets Will Definitely Give You Heartburn
I've been eating frozen chicken nuggets for this review column, and the gurgling heartburn I've experienced has led me to chomp Tums like they were as tasty and plentiful as the nuggets that caused my stomach acids to go into overdrive.
Frozen Breakfast Food Is Not the Breakfast of Champions
The most easily-prepared foods are breakfast foods. All frozen breakfast foods seem like a bad, impractical idea to me, but I'm not here to avoid the food mistakes, I'm here to eat them.
Frozen TV Dinners Are Not for the Faint of Heart
Whereas most frozen food consists of one dish or food item, the makers of these products attempted to produce complete meals that you cook all at once in your microwave. Some were good. But most weren't.
Enter the Indian Food Party Inside My Mouth
Is something the matter, my dear? Just eat some mattar paneer. Eat one and your troubles will disappear. Welcome back to Nick Gazin's Frozen Food Reviews. Let's eat.
Frozen Pizza Sucks
This week's installment is dedicated to frozen pizza and frozen pizza-inspired foodstuffs. Most frozen pizza things I've tried have been terrible so far, but serves me right for being so lazy that I eat frozen pizza.
I Reviewed Amy's Kitchen Food and Amy Offered to Set Me Up on a Date
This week I reviewed four frozen Mexican food products, including two by Amy's Kitchen. After posting one of the reviews on Instagram, Amy herself reached out to me and offered to set me up on a date with her friend. What a company!
I Ate Frozen Fast Food So You Don't Have To
Here's what to eat when you want a fast food burger but don't want to leave your house.