How to Pick Up Your Teacher

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For more than a few young women, dating a teacher is a fantasy. It’s all rooted in that dominant older-man power thing, and then there’s the juicy danger of arrest or expulsion, depending on your role. And all of that means most girls wouldn't do it, but kind of want to.

Konami, the video game developers behind Tokimeki Memorial: Girl’s Side are all too aware of this. The game, first released on Playstation 2 in  2002, sees players become short skirted girls at a fictional Japanese high school. The aim: to find and nail down a boyfriend. And the most popular aspect of the game is the fact that it allows you to date your teacher—purple-haired dreamboat, Himuro Reiichi.

Despite its icky connotations Tokimeki is enormously successful and some players have admitted to investing up to 12 years in a single game. With all this practice, I figured some of these diehards would be the most experienced teacher temptresses in the world, so I asked them for tips. Is there an art to picking up your teacher? Here's what I found out.

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Be a pure, well behaved girl, who’s into sport and dressing conservatively.

Always go for the pure look. And if you want to mix it up, go for a sporty outfit because teachers dig gym attire and collared shirts. It makes them very uncomfortable when you dress sexy, and according to French law student and Japanese culture blogger, Maiko, overall, you should always at least pretend to be a good girl. “You know, mens sana in corpore sano,” she said, meaning “keeping your body and mind healthy will get you into your teacher’s pants.”

Demonstrate your commitment by joining clubs and school excursions.

Now, you definitely need to show you are interested in school. Australian PhD candidate on Japanese culture and gamer for fifteen years, Tina, explains that teacher Himuro plays music, so joining the band is definitely a plus for him. Tina explains that she loves the game and she gets attached to the characters she dates. “It's nice to have unconditional comfort and support at the press of a button,” and her husband seems to be okay with it as well.

Another big one is to go to all the schools excursions and activities the teacher plans. Raise your hand to participate, as the first year will be your only chance to get his attention and allow the courting begin.

Don’t tease him with nicknames. Just a little bit of casual touching will do.

You have to be really careful when talking to him and choosing a nickname once he shows interest. Always be over-polite as he likes playing tough. French lab technician, mother, wife, and Tokimeki Girl’s Side Fan Club-member, Ginnie, says a little bit of touching is fine once you get to certain level of intimacy, but go for the tie or the hand and nothing else. In the game this is called skinship and you can choose where to touch your man. So prod, rub and poke your teacher respectfully until he loves you.

Be smart, but not overly charming.

Show off your intelligence. Teachers really dig smart girls, but keep it cool because if you’re too charming with the other guys, he’ll lose interest. Maiko says if you look like you're trying to date another guy while picking up your teacher, he will definitely get pissed off. Tina puts it this way “Himuro Reiichi likes an all-rounder, however his favourite is intelligence, so get your study points up!” Getting good marks will do the trick, because you keep the image of the good girl.

He’s a tough nut to crack, but he will come around to you.

Co-founder of the Tokimeki Media site, Kiyoko, advises persistence. Even if your hunky teacher scolds you, keep trying. “Invite him to walk home or go to the cafe whenever you run into him after school. He may reject you a couple of times in the beginning, but keep trying. He’ll come around eventually.” Give him academic essays for his birthday, because that really turns him on. And for Christmas, get him something expensive.

So, if this is not enough advice to get your teacher in real life, keep it in the imaginary. “I love the perfect imaginary relationships I can have with the characters,” Tina explains. And if there just isn’t enough porn in the game to gratify your imagination, there’s always Japanese Lollicon.

Follow Laura on Twitter.