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The Hangover News

The UK are creating a cyber army, but you've probably been too drunk to notice.

Internet Police
THE UK ARE GOING TO CREATE A CYBER DEFENCE FORCE
Of course, by defence they also mean they're going to attack people via code and computers

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The defence secretary has announced that the UK is to create a new cyber unit to help defend national security.

Philip Hammond said that the Ministry of Defence will recruit hundreds of reservists as computer experts to work alongside regular forces in the creation of the new Joint Cyber Reserve Unit.

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He also said that, if necessary, the new unit will launch cyber attacks against anyone trying to go all Kevin Mitnick on the UK government.

Speaking at the Conservative party conference, Hammond said, "Last year, our cyber defences blocked around 400,000 advanced, malicious cyber threats to the government secure intranet alone," an claimed that the creation of the new unit would "draw on individuals' talent, skills and expertise gained from their civilian experience to meet these threats".

Militant Attacks
GUNMEN KILLED UP TO 50 STUDENTS IN NIGERIA 
Militants reportedly crept into a college dormitory and shot the students while they slept

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Gunmen, suspected to belong to the Islamist militant group Boko Haram, have attacked a school in north-eastern Nigeria, killing up to 50 students while they slept in their college dormitory.

The reported amount of fatalities from the attack at the College of Agriculture in Yobe state varies – a Nigerian soldier told press they had collected 42 bodies, while college provost, Molima Idi Mato, said the number could be as high as 50.

North-eastern Nigeria is currently under a state of emergency amid an insurgency by Boko Haram, who want to overthrow the country's government to create an Islamic state.

The group have already attacked a number of schools, killing at least 22 students in June of this year, reportedly because they regard schools as a symbol of Western culture.

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Diplomatic Buddy-Ups
BARACK OBAMA AND HASSAN ROUHANI MADE HISTORY WITH A PHONE CALL
Iran's new cool-guy president keeps getting more chill

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For the first time in more than 30 years, the president of Iran had a conversation with the president of America.

Unable to meet in person at the UN General Assembly forum in New York, Barack Obama and Hassan Rouhani spoke over the phone about Iran's nuclear programme.

White House officials described the 15-minute conversation – which was reportedly initiated by Rouhani – as cordial and, following the call, Obama said, "While there will surely be important obstacles to moving forward, and success is by no means guaranteed, I believe we can reach a comprehensive solution."

President Rouhani has said he is fully empowered by Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei to negotiate, and would like to reach a deal over the nuclear issue in the next three to six months.

Landmark Scientific Theories
A SAUDI SHEIKH CLAIMED THAT DRIVING HARMS WOMEN'S OVARIES 
Nearly a century of history would suggest otherwise, but he's not letting stuff like evidence and fact bog him down

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A Saudi sheikh has defied decades of assumed knowledge by claiming that driving can seriously harm women's ovaries and pelvises.

Sheikh Salah al-Luhaydan, a psychologist and top Saudi official, was trying to quell the growing resistance against the ban on women driving in Saudi Arabia.

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Clearly fabricating research results ("This is why we find, for women who continuously drive cars, their children are born with clinical disorders of varying degrees") seems an odd way to do that, but the sheikh hasn't yet backed down with his claims.

Activists have urged women to defy the ban on the 26th of October by openly taking to the road, saying, "Since there are no clear justifications for the state to ban adult, capable women from driving, we call for enabling women to have driving tests and for issuing licences for those who pass."

One-Man Hurricanes of Talent 
A SWEDISH FOOTBALL MATCH WAS POSTPONED SO A PLAYER COULD SING ON TV
For some reason, lots of people aren't very happy about it

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Swedish man Kevin Walker achieved one of his dreams by earning himself a place on the squad of the Swedish football club GIF Sundsvall.

The 24-year-old now wants to realise his other dream of becoming a superstar singer-songwriter, so appeared before the judges on Idol – the Swedish version of the X Factor – and sang a song by mum-rock crooner and composer of Gossip Girl finale soundtracks, Gavin DeGraw.

This would all have been fine, had it not been for the fact that TV4 – the network that broadcasts both Idol and Swedish football – had a GIF Sundsvall fixture postponed so that Walker could appear on the show.

Lots of rival players and pundits have branded the move "ridiculous", but Walker seems pretty oblivious, saying, "I'm living a Bruce Wayne life at the moment. I play football during the week, and then take part in Idol at the weekend."

Comparing yourself to a billionaire superhero to garner sympathy isn't a particularly well-tested method, so you'll have to keep your eyes on the Walker story to see how things play out.