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Man Pretending to Be Beto Campaigner Allegedly Broke Into House, Stole Popsicle

The man said he was “campaigning for Beto for President,” which flew because 1) it’s Austin and 2) he was wearing a Beto T-shirt at the time.

by Jelisa Castrodale
May 30 2019, 8:36pm

Earlier this week, Beto O’Rourke reminded everyone that he’s still all-in on this whole ‘running for president’ thing by releasing his proposal for immigration reform. He has promised that it will be “the most sweeping rewrite of our nation’s immigration and naturalization laws in a generation,” and if you’re going to volunteer for Beto’s campaign, his talking points are probably one of the things that you should start memorizing. Even if you’re just pretending to work for Beto 2020, repeating a few of his ideas still makes a better first impression than, say, breaking into someone’s house does.

According to the Austin (Texas) Police Department, 28-year-old James Bradford Gibbon II allegedly spent Tuesday afternoon loitering in a south Austin neighborhood. He told an unnamed resident that he was “campaigning for Beto for President,” which didn’t raise any eyebrows because 1) it’s Austin and 2) Gibbon was wearing a Beto-logo T-shirt at the time.

The witness told Gibbon to watch out for his neighbor’s dogs, and then the next time he looked up from his yard work, he saw Gibbon in the woman’s backyard. CBS Austin reports that the homeowner eventually found Gibbon in her kitchen, eating a Popsicle that he’d snagged from her own freezer. She yelled at him, and he said that it was a “misunderstanding” before trying to leave her home.

Her son called the cops, and when the officers arrived, they saw Gibbon and his black Beto shirt walking out of the house. (He was also holding a Popsicle wrapper.) Gibbon later told the cops that he had entered the home without permission, and allegedly admitted that he’d rifled through a wallet and briefcase and tried to “hack an iPad” before grabbing that Popsicle.

The Austin American-Statesman wrote that Gibbon has been charged with burglary of a residence—because he both admitted that he tried to steal property and made off with a frozen treat—which is a second-degree felony. He could face between two and 20 years in prison, as well as a fine of up to $10,000. His bail was set at $12,000, so yeah, that’s one expensive-ass Popsicle.

A spokesperson for O’Rourke’s campaign told the Statesman that Gibbon wasn’t working for the campaign on Tuesday, nor had he ever worked for the campaign. Now’s probably a good time for him to start Googling Beto’s thoughts on the criminal justice system—although, thanks to his stupid heist, he may not be eligible to vote next November anyway.