Money

Do You Feel Rich Yet?

The market reached a record high. The Republicans are about to pass major tax legislation. What are you going to do with your money?

by Eve Peyser
Dec 19 2017, 5:35pm

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The economy, we've been told over and over again, is booming. The stock market is at a record high, everything that is supposed to be growing is growing, the president is tweeting about how great everything is.

Sure, according to some think tank elites, "fewer than half of Americans own stocks, and the top 10 percent richest Americans owned nearly 90 percent of all stocks, bonds, trusts and business equity in 2013," so these record stock market numbers have "nil short-term impact on the ordinary person." And sure, even some conservatives are worried that wages aren't growing in sync with the economy. But I'm feeling rich! Are you?

You don't own any stocks, sure, but isn't it nice to know that if you did, you would be doing well?

You certainly don't make six figures, and you don't have any business income, but once you do start that business and figure out the difference between "non-corporate business" and "business income," won't that tax cut come in handy?

Feel those job offers pouring in? Feel your bank account doubling and tripling and getting so big you might have to finally open that savings account?

A whole $70? That means you can pay for two days of health insurance, you're practically Daddy Warbucks at this point.

1928 and 1929 were great years for wealth in this nation. Those pockets feeling heavy yet?

So scratch that whole "new jobs" thing.

Knowing that you will soon be free of that pesky health insurance that's been weighing you down and chains of financial regulation are finally getting smashed open—feels good, right?

I bet you're already gearing up to flee New York, a place you can definitely afford to live, because you're so loaded. Speaking of which, peace out plebs!

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