No, Dunkaroos Aren't Coming Back, Despite What Twitter Says

Fake news!!!!!!!!!

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Apr 30 2018, 10:26pm

Photo via Twitter user @ _LukeKellly

Providing more rock-solid proof that Twitter is an abjectly terrible platform, some user who goes by the name @_LukeKellly duped an astonishing number of people into thinking that Dunkaroos had a fighting chance of returning to American shelves. The nerve!

Last Tuesday, this @_LukeKellly character posted an image of an alleged conversation via direct message he claimed to have had with the official Betty Crocker account regarding Dunkaroos, that beloved, discontinued snack item of tiny cookies that you can dip in an attached cup of frosting.

"How many retweets to bring back dunkaroos?" his alleged message to Betty Crocker reads. Two minutes later, the brand allegedly replied ("the brand allegedly replied!" What a phrase!) "150,000."

Screengrab via Twitter.

And so it began: Twitter momentarily flirted with the utterly blissful possibility of this snack food returning. @ _LukeKellly's tweet gained so much traction that Kim Kardashian West and her sister Kylie Jenner both quote-retweeted him, speaking of their longing for this cookie-and-icing product of the past.

Eventually, @ _LukeKellly far surpassed that 150,000 retweet threshold, though it doesn’t quite matter—that direct message conversation was apparently fake as shit, despite his post two days later insisting that initial conversation was real.

"We love hearing from fans of Dunkaroos," General Mills Spokesman Mike Siemienas wrote MUNCHIES over email on Monday. "Please continue to share your thoughts with us. But we need to let you know we never set a number of retweets for a return of Dunkaroos, as you may have seen in a fake direct message screenshot. An individual did direct message Betty Crocker, but they did not post the response we gave to them. At this time, we don’t have anything to announce."

Tragic.

Screengrab via Twitter.

"They’re a bunch of liars," @ _LukeKellly wrote MUNCHIES on Monday in response to General Mills' claim he'd doctored the photos in question.

Anyway, the lesson here is that you’re all quite gullible. If you all want Dunkaroos so bad, make ‘em yourself! Get these knockoffs! Go upstairs to Canada!