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It has been less than a week since President Donald Trump warned that he might flat-out ban flavored e-cigarettes because Melania has a son, or whatever. That means for several straight days, we've been panic-buying mango JUUL pods and wondering what new, mildly dangerous product we'll have to use in order to keep slowly chipping away at our own life expectancy.But then the grease-stained angels at Pizza Hut announced the arrival of its new Stuffed Cheez-It Pizza, and we breathed the deepest sigh of relief our vape-shredded lungs allowed. Thanks to these Cheddar-filled squares, the fact that our retirement plan is just a faded Princess Diana Beanie Baby and a stack of mango JUUL pods doesn't seem to matter anymore.The Stuffed Cheez-It Pizza is available at Pizza Hut as of today, and each order involves four oversized orange squares that are filled with Cheez It-flavored sharp Cheddar cheese. The $6.49 pizza (if that's even the right term for these… cheese pillows) comes in cheese-only or pepperoni-and-cheese versions, and it's served with a side of marinara dipping sauce."We pride ourselves on being the go-to for unexpected pizza innovations, and I can't think of a more badass partner than Cheez-It to bring our next original menu item to life," Pizza Hut chief brand officer Marianne Radley said in a statement that referred to the two brands as "household legends." (Radley is also the first person to refer use 'Cheez-It' and 'badass' in the same sentence since your second stepdad asked you if you thought that it was 'badass' to buy a box with the five bucks you swiped from his wallet. And Jeff, it was.)Radley told CNBC that the Stuffed Cheez-It Pizza is the first product that Pizza Hut has released in partnership with Kellogg, and the two companies are already thinking about what other limited-edition products they might release together in 2020. (And if anyone falls in love with this Stuffed Cheez-It thing, it might be back next year, too.)Pizza Hut has been way into the cheese-and-cheese-stuffed thing this year. In March, it temporarily brought back the P'Zone, its early aughts attempt at a calzone. In June, the Cheesy Bites Pizza—the one with the crust made of 28 individual, uh, cheesy bites—was in restaurants for a limited time, and it's easy to get that one confused with February's Ultimate Cheesy Crust Pizza which had 16 cheese-filled "pockets" in its crust.VICE has reached out to Pizza Hut to find out how long the Stuffed Cheez-It Pizza will be on the menu. In the meantime, we'll be sketching out some ideas for a JUUL Stuffed Crust, because nobody wants to live forever anyway.
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