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There's a Nationwide Shortage of White Claws

"We are working around the clock to increase supply given the rapid growth in consumer demand."

by Drew Schwartz
Sep 6 2019, 6:53pm

Photo courtesy of White Claw

All summer long, we've been collectively crushing White Claws at an ever-increasing rate, developing a penchant for getting absolutely hammered on what's basically just water that has since escalated to a full-blown obsession. If you're going to the beach, or a pool party, or a backyard barbecue, you no longer simply want to pick up a 12-pack of Claws: You need to, goddamnit. For a while, there was no problem with the fact that seemingly everyone in America was consuming, like, 24 White Claws a week—but now we've chugged down so many of the things that we're facing a nationwide shortage, CNN reports.

White Claw's Senior Vice President of Marketing Sanjiv Gajiwala told CNN that people are pounding Claws faster than the company can make them. But thankfully for vacationers and Keto people and self-identified bros and pretty much everybody else, the powers that Claw are scrambling to ramp up production.

"We are working around the clock to increase supply given the rapid growth in consumer demand," Gajiwala said. "White Claw has accelerated faster than anyone could have predicted."

The Claw crisis is, evidently, becoming pretty dire. While we can't really attest to the veracity of any of these claims, folks on Twitter across the country say they're completely incapable of finding Claws where they live. In some cases, they're allegedly sold out across entire counties, which seems deranged and unbelievable. But then again: ???????

Some might say that a temporary shortage of White Claws isn't that big of a deal. Just get some Trulys, you might be thinking, they're basically the same thing. To which we say: You're a Trulys girl? You probably have an Android too.

There's no word on when the White Claw shortage might be over, and our national nightmare might finally come to an end. Until then, buy as many of these things as you can find and stockpile them in your house like a madman facing some kind of alcoholic apocalypse, and refuse to share them with anyone. Just kidding! But seriously. If you see any White Claws out in the wild, please let us know. Our children are dying.

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