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The VICE Guide to Right Now

Whoever Made This Pizza Box License Plate Should Have Tried Harder

Take pride in your work.

River Donaghey

River Donaghey

Image via the Hopkinton PD.

There are plenty of ways for the criminal-minded among us to put their arts and crafts skills to work. You can build a realistic papier-mâché bust of yourself to fool prison guards while you escape, or mold a bunch of dick-shaped candles to disguise the meth you're smuggling, or just construct a giant drug catapult to fling bushels of weed across the US border.

The thing is, you need at least some basic artistic ability if you're going to pull off a crafty crime, because whoever tried to fool Massachusetts police with this thrown-together counterfeit license plate could have used a few more art classes—or at least a bit more attention to detail.

According to KMOV, Hopkinton Police busted a Buick last weekend because of its homemade, cardboard license plate, which looked to be made out of a leftover pizza box.

"Here’s a little advice to those aspiring to make their own license plates," the Hopkinton Police Department wrote on Facebook, along with a photo of the cardboard plate. "1. Don't. 2. But if you do, make sure not to use cardboard from a pizza box and magic markers."

The problem isn't even that the fake plate is made out of cardboard—the pizza box is white, and Massachusetts state license plates are also white, so it could feasibly look the part if done correctly. The real issue here is that the rest of the job is so shoddily done.

The license numbers, which are crimson on real plates, are scribbled with some kind of teal-colored marker instead of a red one. And whoever made the plate didn't even bother to write the entire name of the state on it—they just wrote "Mass" and called it good. To top it off, the plate doesn't have anything remotely resembling a registration drawn on, so even if the poorly put-together license plate managed to fool a cop, they'd still pull the car over for missing tags. C'mon.

The unnamed driver is reportedly charged with driving an unregistered and unlicensed car and for making the homemade, pizza box plate. Maybe this will teach the shitty artist to try a little harder next time, especially since the whole trick-your-car-out-with-cardboard thing has already been done.