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We Have Found Hell on Earth and It Is This Cat House in the Desert

It could be yours for $240,000, or haunt your dreams for free.
June 13, 2017, 9:22pm
Photo via Coldwell Banker Homes

Some homes come with their very own stalker, others sell stocked with a vast assortment of clowns. But those pale in comparison to this extremely cat-friendly house that just went on the market in Arizona, CBS affiliate KCTV reports.

From the outside, the unassuming home looms over a barren, 20-acre lot on the Idlewild Ranch in Apache County, Arizona. But one look inside the massive log-sided structure reveals an alarming number of feline paraphernalia: pictures and posters of cats cover the walls; tiny beds and scratching posts line the hallways; cat sculptures, cat coffee mugs, cat toys, cat rugs, and cat stuffed animals fill every visible inch of space.

The listing, which was posted last week, advertises the property as a "contemporary eccentric full log-sided custom home on 20+/- acres for the cat fancier," equipped with two bedrooms, one bath, and what looks like half of all the cat-themed merchandise in the Western Hemisphere. For $240,000, the Cat House could be yours—or you could go in there with a hatchet, a jackhammer, and a wild pack of dogs and wipe the two-story abomination off the face of the earth. Up to you.

"If you love cats this is the home for you!" the listing reads. "If not bring your sandblaster!"

The owner also outfitted the house with "cat walkways," and in the great room, something described as a "medieval cat castle with different levels (stone)." One would have to assume they're talking about this thing:

Though it's unclear why the owner painted the walls in garish, blinding hues, or why so many different colors were employed in each room, it's safe to say he or she believed the cats would enjoy the look—despite the fact that most cats are color-blind.

Perhaps the strangest thing about the house is that in all 41 pictures supplied by the real estate agency, Coldwell Banker Homes, not one contains an actual cat. Which raises a few befuddling questions, including: Why, after so much work plastering every inch of this home with what must be thousands of dollars worth of cat paraphernalia, would anyone decide to pack up and leave?

The world may never know; but maybe somewhere, wandering through the dry, desolate desert of Arizona, the world's luckiest cat is about to stumble upon the home of its dreams.

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