Kim Jong-un Says He Has Cured AIDS, Ebola, and Cancer
Apparently a single injection, made up of a secret combination of ginseng and "rare earth elements," is going to prevent and cure some of the worst public health epidemics our society has ever seen.
The VICE Guide to North Korea. Thumbnail image by John Chapple.
Kim Jong-un, the notorious North Korean dictator whose father didn't take shits because he had magical powers, just found a cure for AIDS. And Ebola. And cancer!
The Korean Central News Agency dropped an announcement about the miracle drug Kumdang-2 Thursday that said a single injection, made up of a secret combination of ginseng and "rare earth elements," is going to prevent and cure some of the worst public health epidemics our society has ever seen. That's the same state news agency that told the world North Korea discovered a "unicorn lair" back in 2012, by the way.
The drug's website claims that a medical study in Africa, where Kumdang-2 was administered to HIV positive patients, improved the health of every single participant in the dry run. It even cured 56 percent of those who received treatment. Kim Jong-un's dad, Kim Jong-il, also said he invented the hamburger, so there's that.
If you're wondering where North Korea's supreme leader gets this shit, check out our documentary about the time we met him in person.
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