The Hangover News

The Battle for Ukraine
UKRAINIAN AUTHORITIES ARE GOING TO ATTACK PRO-RUSSIAN FORCES
They're launching a full scale operation after pro-Russian militants seized government buildings

Ukrainians being trained to fight the Russian army (Photo by Henry Langston)

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Acting Ukrainian President Oleksandr Turchynov has said that a full scale operation involving the army will be launched in the east of the country against pro-Russian militants.

Turchynov announced the "anti-terror operation" after pro-Russian forces seized government and police buildings in Sloviansk, Kramatorsk and Druzhkivka, saying: "We will not allow Russia to repeat the Crimean scenario in the eastern regions of Ukraine."

A Nato source said that the organisation believed "Russian forces have been involved in the seizure of some of the buildings", and the US ambassador to the UN said the attacks on police and other buildings in eastern Ukraine had "tell-tale signs of Moscow's involvement".

Despite those assertions from the world's two largest inter-governmental organisations, the Kremlin denies any involvement in eastern Ukraine.

Good Decisions
GLASGOW 2014 ISN'T GOING TO START WITH SOME FLATS BEING DEMOLISHED
Because that was one of the most tasteless ideas ever conceived

The Red Road flats, Glasgow (Photo via)

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Organisers of this year's Commonwealth Games in Glasgow have decided that destroying five iconic tower blocks live on TV might not be the best thing to include in their opening ceremony.

You might think it's because they realised that live-action gentrification is kind of tasteless – or maybe they took note of the online petition that gathered 17,000 signatures opposing the plans – but apparently the cancellation is to do with people expressing fears about the "safety and security" of the demolition.

Police Scotland Det Ch Con Steve Allen, security director for the Games, said: "It became clear that the plan generated a range of strong opinions, which changed the safety and security context."

Those strong opinions were presumably the opponents describing the plans as insensitive to former residents, as well as the asylum seekers living in the sixth block, before calling for the flats to instead be brought down with "dignity".

Geneva Breaching
GADDAFI'S SONS' WAR CRIMES TRIAL BEGINS IN LIBYA TODAY
Security fears have led to the trial being moved to a maximum security prison

Saif al-Islam Gaddafi after being captured by rebels (Photo via)

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Today marks the start of the war crimes trial of two of Muammar Gaddafi's sons.

Saif al-Islam Gaddafi and his younger brother Saadi are accused of orchestrating a campaign of murder, torture and bombardment of civilians during Libya's eight-month civil war in 2011.

The trial is going ahead despite widespread violence in the country and the fact that the rebel group holding Saif al-Islam won't turn him over to the authorities, meaning he will have to stand trial via video link.

Also on trial with the two Gaddafi sons are their father's former spy chief, two former prime ministers and 34 senior officials, who represent much of the dictatorship's surviving elite.

Because of security fears the trial has been moved to Tripoli's maximum security al-Hadba prison, which is being protected by armoured cars, barbed wire and machine-gun nests.

Running Diplomacy  
NORTH KOREA HELD ITS FIRST FOREIGNER-FRIENDLY MARATHON
Shockingly, no one was allowed to wave American or Japanese flags

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North Korea opened its annual Pyongyang marathon to foreign amateurs for the first time ever.

Of course, there were a few ground rules: no one was allowed to wave an American or Japanese flag, carry a camera or wear clothes that could be deemed too attention-grabbing or political – though one runner went ahead and wore blue jeans anyway.

Everything seemed to go very smoothly otherwise, with tens of thousands of North Koreans lining the streets to applaud the runners – who, according to officials, represented 27 different countries.

Professional athletes from around the world have been permitted to compete in the marathon for years, so it's likely that this year's changes are part of Kim Jong-un's plans to promote tourism in the country.

Bragging Rights
AN ITALIAN MAN WAS JAILED FOR BEING TOO GOOD AT SEX
Neighbours said his girlfriend's screams were akin to stalking, which doesn't make much sense

(Photo via)

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An Italian man named Romeo Artemio Lori has been jailed for six months for being "too good at sex".

The 42-year-old's neighbours were so tired of his girlfriend's moaning that they reported him to a judge, claiming that the case should be classified as stalking because of the way they were terrorised by the noise.

Romeo, quite fairly, pointed out that there is a difference between "stalking" and "noises", and argued that he was being punished for being "too good at sex".

However, the presiding judge found Romeo's neighbours' complaints "reasonable" and sentenced him six months in prison, which doesn't really seem like something you should be able to do within a legitimate legal framework.

Romeo plans to appeal against the sentence.